


You Live Inside a Dream

by babydraco



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Dark, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Forced Bonding, Forced Marriage, Forced Pregnancy, M/M, Manipulative Relationship, Omega!Bucky, Past Mind Control, Surrogacy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-09
Updated: 2015-04-23
Packaged: 2018-02-07 23:28:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 19
Words: 32,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1918137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babydraco/pseuds/babydraco
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In an A/B/O   Alternate Universe  where Project Insight succeeds,  Pierce keeps the now obsolete  Winter Soldier to be the perfect spouse and give birth to his children. He even gives the Soldier a new personality. But after Pierce realizes he's too old to get the job done, he forces someone else to do it in order to  keep the Soldier under control.  And that someone has begun to develop feelings for the Soldier  which makes him question his loyalties.</p><p>A <a href="http://marvel-cinekink.livejournal.com/751.html#comments">marvel_cinekink</a> prompt</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Everything tastes so sweet

They were running low on supplies in the bunkers, Steve volunteered to make a run to the supermarket. Natasha thought it was a bad idea but Fury silenced her with an almost imperceptible shake of his head, it was obvious Steve was going stir crazy. Since it was winter, everyone would be so bundled up that if he wore civilian clothes no one would recognize him. Natasha drove them into the main shopping district of the nearest DC suburb and parked as close to the building as she could get, out of sight of the security cameras and with the engine running. 

Steve grabbed a shopping cart. He quickly made his way around the store, stocking up on canned food, ramen noodles, protein bars, bottled water, and coffee. He smelled the omega before he saw them, coming around the corner of the dairy aisle. The scent was so familiar he almost plowed into a display of donuts and cookies. He'd woken up next to that smell for years, and the last time he'd smelled it, they'd been trying to kill each other. 

The omega was gorgeous, with glossy chestnut hair pulled back in a bun underneath his knitted winter cap, and huge heavy lidded blue eyes. He was two or three inches shorter than Steve, with a lean, well muscled body and there was a small child wrapped up to its nose in a puffy blue snowsuit, sitting in the front basket of his shopping cart. The child ate grapes with his fingers while the man perused the yogurt selection.

“...Bucky?” Steve knew he shouldn't call attention to himself, he shouldn't try to talk to him, he couldn't help himself. The man ignored him and kept reading the labels on the packages. Steve moved closer, not touching in case the man reacted violently. 

“Bucky?” 

The man turned his head, gave Steve a polite smile that contained a total lack of recognition. 

“I'm sorry, sir, my name is Nikolai Pierce, I don't know Bucky.”

“S-sorry,” Steve murmured. “My mistake.” But he had Bucky's pepperminty scent, even if he also smelled bonded, two other vaguely familiar co mingling scents. “Your baby is beautiful.” And he was. It broke Steve's heart, he looked so much like the sepia toned photos of four children that had sat on a hallway table in a Brooklyn house more than seventy years ago. Bucky was alive- Bucky was a Hydra agent- Bucky was also...a daddy? Not that he was entirely surprised, everyone had always known Bucky was born to be someone's parent, one of those omegas built for it in a way that went beyond simple biology. It was just that Steve had wanted those children to be his. And Bucky, was he okay? Was he bonded to someone in Hydra? Why was he standing here talking to Steve, instead of trying to kill him? 

“Thank you,” he said, giving Steve a look that his new twenty first century friends would describe as 'weirded out'. “His name is Alexei and he's two. I'm going to walk away now.” And then he just did. The bodyguard Steve hadn't noticed was lurking nearby followed, shooting Steve a suspicious glare. 

As he put a package of juice boxes in the cart, Nikolai admitted to himself he was shaken by his encounter with the stranger. Social access to him was usually controlled more carefully, his bond mate was a very important man and security was currently tight due to the launch of Project Insight three years ago. A lot of people were angry, Alexander had said, but Nikolai wasn't to worry about it, just trust the security people to do their jobs. Nikolai's job was the baby. Alexander had given him a new mission, to keep him stable and occupied, and useful. 

Nikolai was grateful for his new role. Doctors had pronounced him “depressed”, a word he didn't really understand at the time, because it meant an emotion, but everyone said it was brought on by the transition to civilian life. He'd spent too long, they said, forced to neglect his primary biological purpose, a pregnancy would straighten out his hormones and reduce psychological distress. "You're sad because you don't have a baby," they'd explained. 

They were right, Nikolai mused, lifting Alexei out of the cart so the bodyguard could unload it and pay the cashier. Alexei was the only thing he cared about. This was something he'd made with his body, he was meant for killing but he'd made a life, something to nurture and protect. 

“I've planned for us to spend the summer on the boat,” Alexander announced over a dinner of grilled fish and potatoes. “I can't stand the smell of DC in the heat.” 

It did tend to smell a bit _charred_ when the wind shifted the wrong way. 

“I don't like _The Sundance_ ,” Nikolai said. His alpha looked at him sharply. Nikolai rarely argued, disagreeing with Alexander made his stomach hurt but something inside him was desperate to stay in DC right now. He'd never liked the boat, even though he knew it was wrong to not enjoy something that made his alpha happy. “Please, I don't want to go.” 

Alexander ate a bit of potato and stared at him before speaking coldly and firmly. 

“I'll take him away.” 

“But- I love him.” He couldn't bear the thought of four months without his child, or never seeing him again. 

“You said you loved me and yet you defy me. I honestly don't know what's gotten into you lately. Now, you will finish eating and then you will go arrange for your things to be packed, I won't hear another word about it.”


	2. As long as it agrees with how you feel

Back at the bunker, Steve told Fury, and Natasha and Sam what he'd discovered during the supply run. They all agreed either Sam or Natasha would do the supply runs from then on, if Steve ran into Bucky again he wouldn't be able to stop himself from trying to talk to him. If it really was Bucky, Steve could get someone killed trying to get his attention in public. Nat cautioned that the bodyguard Bucky had been with might have been doing double duty as a spy. 

“He's calling himself something else, but I swear, it's Bucky,” Steve insisted, glumly biting into a protein bar. "He's not the blank faced assassin I fought, he's pretending to be a civilian but someone other than Bucky Barnes." 

“Brace yourself,” Nat said, handing him an edition of _The Washington Post_ from last week, open to the society page. “It's about to get worse.” 

“Secretary of Defense Alexander Pierce was in attendance at Easter services at the National Cathedral, along with his omega, Russian model Nikolai Karpov. They cut elegant yet understated figures in Armani and Hugo Boss respectively,” Steve read out loud. There was a photo of the happy couple traveling in a crowd of dignitaries, Pierce's proprietary arm around Bucky's waist, Bucky smiling blankly at the photographer. “ _Russian model?_ ”

“Actually, that's not a lie,” Natasha said. “He did some print ads about six years ago. Not really tall enough for the runway but Hydra must have their fingers in everywhere, he walked for a few designers, for a couple of years and then no one heard from him after that. Whatever it is they're planning to do with him next, they've been laying the groundwork for this cover for awhile, creating a plausible civilian identity that can be traced.” 

“I think this is it,” Steve said. “That's the plan. He's Pierce's reward.” 

“Since when do they give out people as Lifetime Achievement Awards?” Sam asked. “I mean, I thought we established that's illegal now. The trading of people as if they're not, like, people.” 

“I think,” Fury said, “we're now living in a world where they _do_. And all I was thinking of taking from the office when I retire is my ergonomic chair.”

 _The Sundance_ set sail out of Maryland a week later and in a few days they dropped anchor off the coast of Florida. 

Nikolai smoothed SPF50 over Alexei's bare chest, and arms, a little on his nose and forehead. His olive complexion meant he might not burn as easily as Nikolai or Alexander, but Nikolai didn't like to take the risk. Alexei toddled off to investigate the miniature on-board sand box Alexander had ordered custom built into the deck. Nikolai rubbed tanning lotion on his own body. He had been instructed in how to tan his skin to a golden brown by the woman Alexander hired sometimes to teach him how to be decorative. He was supposed to spend a few minutes a day on the boat getting a tan, but not too much, because Alexander didn't want him “looking like a baseball glove in a few years”. He wore a black Prada swimsuit that left as much as possible exposed, for his mate's entertainment. 

And yet he was still uncomfortably hot. Even with a tall glass of an iced drink that was called a Pina Colada, and the sun shade above their deck chairs, he still wanted to rip off the swimsuit, jump into the pool and never get out. But he hadn't been given permission to swim. He knew the temperature as stated by his watch didn't match his own overly warm skin, he felt dizzy and his stomach was cramping. He hadn't been poisoned, he and Alexander had eaten the same food, and they'd watched the cook prepare it, and any poison that could hurt him would have already killed Alexander. He pressed a hand to his stomach and bit his lip. 

“Alexander?” he managed to say. Not sir anymore, calling your husband sir was not the proper protocol. “I'm...malfunctioning.” 

“There's no reason you should be,” Alexander said. “Unless you've forgotten to keep track of your heat cycle again.” 

Nikolai cringed. He had. He wasn't programmed to think months in advance, he never had been. This was the longest he'd been out of...that place...in decades. He was used to taking suppressants and still didn't know how to deal with heats. He braced himself for the scolding, but the alpha only snorted with laughter and patted his hair. 

“Your erratic behavior lately tells me that you're feeling sad again, aren't you?” 

Nikolai nodded, because what else could he do? Alexander and the doctors understood his mind better than he did. And he was sad. Once he'd learned about being sad, he was sad all the time. Even though he had no reason to be, he had every nice thing that he understood people were supposed to want, and he was strong, healthy, and bonded, wasn't that happiness? So why did he sometimes hide in his room, holding Alexei and weeping from his eyes? 

“I think another baby would help. I know you were thinking of asking me for one, you were just too shy to say it.” Alexander stroked the back of his neck, fingers circling around to slide over the bond mark. Nikolai shifted closer, leaning into his touch. He would start to crave it soon, he'd want to go down to the bed, and take off their clothes, and please Alexander, and then his mate would take care of him. He wanted to go down to the bed _now_ , the swimsuit would hide nothing of his need. 

“Yes,” Nikolai whispered. He did not have any other answers. 

“And you've done a very good job with the first one I gave you. Alexei is abundantly healthy and developing quickly. He scores above average on all the tests of his intelligence and motor skills. I think we can call this first experiment a success. You'll have to give up your little swimsuits for awhile, but it will be worth it.”

Nikolai didn't care about being able to wear revealing clothing. He had no opinions on the wardrobe that a personal shopper assembled for him four times a year. Every outfit was designed to show off his body in some way, but he felt no connection to his shape as something he should hide or expose based on attractiveness, he was only interested in being strong, flexible and fast. But it made everyone else happy when he looked good, so he dressed in the clothes he was given. He didn't have any others. He put them in a basket when they got dirty and someone washed them. When they were torn, lost or stained beyond repair, someone replaced them. That was how it had always been. 

“I'll have you put ashore for a week in Miami at a good hotel. Let you pamper yourself on the tax payer's dime. But I see you have a more immediate concern. Pamela?” He called to the slim young woman who worked as one of his interns. “Take Alexei to the playroom. Entertain him for, oh, two hours.” 

Pamela didn't attempt to argue that she was studying for her Masters in Political Science, and had not been hired as the nanny. She scooped the baby up and took him downstairs. 

“Come here,” Alexander told Nikolai with a dangerous smile.

Later, as he lay exhausted in a cold bath, he listened to Alexander in the other room, on a conference call, arranging a five star hotel suite for the whole week. Then he made another call on the secured line. 

"Yes, I want Agent Rumlow for _special_ security detail. In Miami by tomorrow. "


	3. You're dancing in your sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is a short, weird chapter.

Nikolai writhed desperately in the high thread count silk sheets of the king sized bed. The tropical breeze blowing in through the hotel's French windows did nothing to cool his naked, sweat soaked skin. When was the other alpha going to arrive? He was _dying_ , he needed something hard inside him, he wished he had one of the toys Alexander used sometimes when age made him tired and slow to respond. The lock clicked as someone slid their keycard through it. Agent Rumlow entered, fresh off the private helicopter. All Nikolai could smell was his particular alpha musk, just the smell alone made him wet. 

“You better be ready to go, I'm not in the mood for a pre show.”

Nikolai reached for him, whining low and animalistic, one hand stroking himself. 

“Please. Please, please.”

“Gonna take care of you,” Rumlow assured him, stripping off his own clothes and strutting towards the bed. Hand on his cock, he brought himself to hardness. No condoms for this. “Give you what you need.” Nikolai turned around, got up on all fours, he moved his thighs apart, lifted his ass, presenting himself to this other alpha. Asking to be taken. It was the only way, Alexander said, to receive another baby, and Nikolai was not going to disobey. Alexander just wanted him to be healthy and stable, even if it meant giving Nikolai to another man sometimes. 

“Little slut. You'd take anyone who could stick something in you,” Rumlow grunted. Nikolai was soaking, they didn't need lube. Rumlow mounted him easily, moving in and out, picking up the pace when Nikolai begged for it. “This is what I do now. Used to lead a Strike team, now I fuck horny housewives.”

“There are no prisoners with Hydra,” Nikolai panted. “ Only order. And Order only comes through pain.” 

Rumlow paused and snickered. 

“Did you just make a _joke_?” 

Nikolai nodded shyly. Now that he was decommissioned, he had been allowed a sense of humor, he had permission to play and laugh, it was just that he rarely did. He had trouble following casual conversations and didn't understand the references people made, even when he wanted to be included, which he didn't try for often. 

“You little bitch!” Rumlow laughed, pulling out and rolling him on his back. Nikolai laughed too, cautiously at first and then he allowed himself full blown giggles as Rumlow rubbed his fingertips quickly against Nikolai's ribs and stomach in a way that felt uncomfortable at first and then pleasing, making him squeak and wriggle around. “You like that? Oh my god, the Winter Soldier likes being tickled.” 

_Tickled_. Yes, he enjoyed that. He experimented with returning the favor, and Rumlow didn't even punish him for it, he just laughed and let Nikolai try it. And when he pushed back inside him, it was easier and felt so much better now that Nikolai was relaxed. He didn't see coupling as having much to do with his own feelings, as he reached his climax, he went somewhere else the way he often did with Alexander, how could he stand to be present for it? Rumlow let him lay on his side while they waited for the knot to go down, humiliated, he hid his face in the pillow. 

“Do they still beat you?” Rumlow asked after a couple of minutes. As if he wasn't still painfully buried inside Nikolai. 

Nikolai nodded. 

“It's rare. I work hard to be good.”

“Don't give them any reason to hit you. Gotta protect our kids.”

“Alexei is not yours. Alexander Pierce is his father and he will be this one's father.”

“I know. I'm just saying.”

“I don't love you.”

“And I don't love you. “

“I love Alexander.”

“Oh, for Fuck's Sake, you do not. Not that you even know what love is.”

“I love him. He takes care of me,” Nikolai said stubbornly. Nikolai felt the shame, deep down, of not being sure what he really felt for Alexander. But he knew little of how to sort out and identify feelings, only how to imitate them to please Alexander, the man who fed and clothed him, and gave him missions and a purpose. It wasn't the same blooming in his heart that he experienced when he held his child, but Alexander was his mate and that was different than affection for a child. 

When they were done, Rumlow rolled over and picked up the room's phone. 

“Go wash up. I'm gonna call Room Service and order something ridiculous. What? Don't look at me like that, _we're_ not footing the bill.”


	4. Til all the eyes that look at me

“Pierce owns a yacht called _The Sundance_. It left Maryland about three weeks ago. I called their house and pretended to be a reporter. Housekeeper says the family's down near Florida. They're supposed to be at sea for months, probably won't be back until September.” Natasha squinted at the lap top screen, which displayed search results tracking the whereabouts of the Secretary and his family. 

“ Then I have to go to Florida,” Steve said, his mouth set in a determined line. 

“As the only person here who quasi out ranks you,” Fury said, “Absolutely not. Of course, I can't literally stop you, since I'm recovering from an attempt on my life, but I want you to know it would hurt my feelings if you went anyway.”

“Well, is there anyone we know and trust who can get near Bucky fast, without Pierce suspecting anything?” Steve demanded. “I-I know he's not our biggest priority and he's probably safe where he is but it's _Bucky_.” 

“That,” Natasha said, hitting 'send' on a familiar number in her phone, “We can definitely do. They're not exactly inconspicuous but in this case, I think that's a feature, not a bug.” 

During a lull in Nikolai's heat, Rumlow insisted they get out of the hotel room and get some air, even if it was just wandering around looking at the tourist shops on the beach. Nikolai didn't understand the _point_ of most of the merchandise, seashell necklaces and wooden signs that said “This Way to the Beach”. He bought a box of candy for Alexander and a stuffed dolphin for Alexei. He noticed Rumlow buying a toddler sized “Magic City” t shirt. 

“Please, don't,” Nikolai said. Rumlow ignored him. 

“Nikolai Pierce!” A tall, red haired woman was waving at him and rapidly approaching down the sidewalk. He panicked, not sure if she was someone he was allowed to speak to, but she didn't give him time to avoid her. He glanced at Rumlow, who just gave him a 'you're on your own, pal' shrug. “Pepper Potts. I haven't seen you since that party after my company consulted on Project Insight.” 

“Party?” Nikolai replied blankly. There had been so many, and he had been numb throughout most of them. 

“It was really Tony, my omega, who consulted. I handle the finances, corporate structure, publicity. He's the genius inventor.”

“Stark Industries,” Nikolai replied belatedly. They used to make weapons. He was skilled in the operation of several pieces of Stark technology. He had followed what Alexander called “Stark's immature showboating antics” on tv but the name meant nothing to him otherwise. 

“We're in town all week for vacation. In fact, we're having lunch right over there.” She gestured across the street to the open air patio of a restaurant. A dark haired man with a neatly trimmed goatee waved casually from a white wooden cafe table. “If you haven't eaten yet, we'd love to have you join us. Even if you have, you can just order a drink. I haven't seen you in ages!” 

“That's a good idea,” Nikolai said, because what else could he say? What if she was important to his alpha and he refused her reasonable request? So he followed her, and Rumlow followed him, over to meet Tony Stark, who was shorter in person than Nikolai had expected. And even though he didn't know this man, he'd never met this man before, looking at him was strangely painful. 

“I got us non alcoholic mimosas,” Stark announced. “Which is really just Orangina, if you wanna get technical. Sit, sit. And I ordered the clam plate for four, it comes with like three different sauces.”

Pepper Potts allowed her omega so much freedom. Nikolai was surprised, but then, he didn't have as much experience with female alpha/male omega couples. And maybe Stark was smarter than him and could be trusted with more decisions. Nikolai had never ordered for himself in a restaurant, Alexander always told him 'it's not your job, Angel, I'm the one paying, and trust me, you'll love this dish'. He had to eat all of it, and say he liked it or he would be in trouble. 

“And how _are_ you?” Pepper asked as the food arrived (Stark must have ordered it before he even knew they were expecting two guests, which was odd). 

“Alexander and I are trying for another baby,” Nikolai said. It was the first thing he could think of, he didn't have many other interests and Alexander didn't talk to him much about politics. He waited for Pepper and Stark to take food first, and then for Rumlow to discreetly nod his permission before he awkwardly filled his own plate. Now that Nikolai was a civilian, Rumlow didn't outrank him, he wasn't Nikolai's handler, instead he was more like an employee, but he was the only person at the table who understood that taking food before you had permission had been beaten out of Nikolai years ago. 

“Oh, how lovely,” Pepper said. “I haven't met your son but I bet he's adorable.” 

“He scores very high on all his tests. And I'm happiest when I have a baby,” Nikolai said earnestly. “Alexander is a great man who's done so much for the world, he deserves as many children as he wants, I'm so excited about having another one soon.” 

“I figure we'll get around to it someday,” Stark said, giving Nikolai a strange look. 

“Tony's a little too into his robots at the moment,” Pepper laughed. 

Why was she letting Stark choose the timing? He was already in his forties, that was too old to have children without risks, wasn't Stark worried his partner would leave him for someone younger? 

“Bet your parents are thrilled,”Stark commented. 

“I haven't spoken to them in years,” Nikolai said. “They live-in Russia. My father is a general in the army, he doesn't approve of my career.” He had no clear memory of any of this, but it was the only story he knew beyond his life as an assassin. 

“Or of you turning out to be an omega,” Stark said. “Powerful men don't like it when their sons differentiate the wrong way.” 

“Yes,” Nikolai said. It made sense, he would continue to use that explanation. “Omega have very few rights in Russia. I was born into the middle of the breakup of the Soviet Union, there were many kidnappings when people were afraid the government would no longer arrange marriages.” 

They stayed at the table and talked for exactly two hours. Nikolai didn't do that much talking, but Pepper and “Tony” were talkative enough for four people and Nikolai was a good listener. He was surprised to find he enjoyed the dinner. As he walked back to the hotel with Rumlow, he felt... _happy_. Warm and generous and content. This must be what it was like to have friends, to talk freely with a peer group, with no ranks or expectations of “favors”. 

“Are we friends?” he asked Rumlow in the elevator as he casually nuzzled him. His heat was returning, but it was slower to rise this time. 

“Huhh. I don't know,” Rumlow responded. “Don't think we can afford not to be.”

“Can I call you Brock?”

“If I can call you Nick.” 

“You can call me Nick.” Nikolai laughed softly into Rumlow's shoulder. A diminutive! He'd never had one before. Alexander had romantic names for him, but never “Nick”. It could be his and Rumlow's secret, something to make their time together a little more bearable.


	5. Awaken your anxieties

“Tony, stop whining and tell us what you found out,” Steve said, patience wearing thin. He jogged the length of the park near their hidden bunkers, talking to Stark through a BlueTooth device on an encrypted channel. 

“I believe you about your friend being brainwashed. Because I can't see you hanging out with the world's most baby obsessed bimbo. Oh nooo....” And the phone went silent. Pepper came on the line a second later. 

“Sorry, _someone_ insisted on ordering clams even though I said they looked suspicious. Not the first time I've been thankful we always rent vacation homes with a lot of bathrooms. Anyway, I found your friend sweet and charming but Tony's right, he seems oddly shallow and not very bright.” 

“Bucky's not stupid,” Steve protested. 

“Ohhh Alexander Pierce is the greatest man ALIVE,” Tony sighed dramatically. “I want to have fourteen of his babies.” His performance was cut off with another round of vomiting. Sometimes Steve really hated the way modern technology made you able to carry on a conversation with people around the world in whatever room you were in. 

“No, that's what we mean,” Pepper continued. “The brainwashing theory is probably one hundred percent correct. This is the personality Pierce needed for his fantasy life to work. He needed a Stepford Omega, so he overwrote the Winter Soldier's brain again.” 

“I don't even know how to react to that,” Steve admitted. He also had no idea what a 'Stepford Omega' was, he looked it up online as he was talking, stopping to jog in place. Apparently, it was a classic science fiction movie about a group of suburban alphas who turned their spouses into perfect robots. “But we can get him back, right?”

“Sure,” Pepper said kindly. “Of course.”

 

“Pepper and Tony want to take us to a club.” Rumlow poked his head around the bathroom door, toothbrush in hand. The bout of food poisoning was just about over, which made Nikolai happy, not being affected himself he was tired of hearing Rumlow whine about it. 

“I've never been dancing,” Nikolai said. He lay draped naked over the bed, sweating and mildly trembling from his heat. 

“Sure, you have,” said Rumlow. “We went for Rollins's birthday that time and we brought you with- Oh. Right. You won't remember that and we got screamed at by the brass for doing it.” 

“Still, I don't think I should be in a club in my state,”Nikolai said. “Someone would get hurt. But- we can make our own fun?” He smiled hopefully and spread his legs. 

“Don't gotta ask me twice,” Rumlow said. He typed out a quick text message declining the invite and explaining why and sent it. He climbed on the bed in between Nikolai's thighs. Nikolai reached out and stroked his cock. “Is Pierce ever going to let you have your own phone?” 

“It's because of security,” Nikolai insisted. 

“Because all the friends you don't have might steal all the information you don't know?”

“He cares about me.”

“Knees up,” Rumlow said. Nikolai obediently pulled his knees toward his chest as Rumlow loomed over him balanced on his palms. “What if we took it slow this time? I heard there's more of a chance of conceiving if the omega, you know, has a real good time. ”

“Alright,” Nikolai said nervously as Rumlow touched his body gently, and carefully, as if he actually liked him and wanted it to feel good. As Rumlow- as _Brock_ pushed inside him, he wondered if this was how it was always supposed to be. He'd only been with one other man, one other alpha. If there had ever been someone else, they didn't want him to remember it. 

_After President Ellis was removed, and the helicarriers had brought peace and order to America, he had been dressed in a suit and taken to a court house, told to sign this paper with the name of one of his cover identities, put on this ring, repeat these words. He was told to smile for the cameras. He was being decommissioned, perhaps this was part of the ceremony. They put him in a limo to Pierce's penthouse condo, where he expected more debriefing about the mission, instructions on what would happen to him next. Pierce was relaxed when The Asset was shown to his dining room. Someone had laid out an elegant meal of all sorts of food his handlers never allowed him to try. Pierce ordered him to sit and eat. The narrow glass next to his plate held a fizzy yellowish drink that tasted like old grapes._

_“It's called champagne,” Pierce said and laughed at the face The Asset made. “Good, isn't it? I asked you here today because I have a new job for you. As you know, you're no longer needed for field assignments but that doesn't mean you're no longer needed. Some of my colleagues wanted you put back into cryo, or to eliminate you. I said no, there's still plenty of use for this perfect creature. I worked hard for this country and I am entitled to ask for a reward. You see, my bed gets cold these days, ever since my wife died and my children grew up, my home has been big and empty. I feel like starting afresh. Drink your champagne.”_

_“Sir?” The Asset continued to drink, unable to disobey an order._

_“You're a healthy young omega. Quiet, compliant, helpful. And as of today, you signed paper work agreeing to be my bonded. I want you to know how very happy that makes me, how proud I am that you understand where your future lies.”_

_Pierce refilled The Asset's glass and gestured for him to continue drinking. So he did. The paperwork, the ceremony, it had all been so quick, they hadn't given him time to read the document or think._

_“You'll be well taken care of, good food, soft beds, designer clothing, a place of honor.”_

_“I don't know what to do,” The Asset said softly. Pierce refilled his glass for the third time. He stroked his hand over The Asset's thigh. The Asset tensed but knew better than to pull away._

_“You'll be trained, and to start off, I've had your handlers prepare a briefing package for you.”_

_The Asset had no reply. He knew that 'briefing package' meant new implanted thoughts and goals. It meant they would _change him_ to suit. When it was over, he'd do what Pierce wanted and never remember a time when he didn't want to do that. He finished his glass and Pierce poured him another. The alcohol made him dizzy, befuddled. _

_“Yes, I know,” Pierce said. He smiled gently. “This is special champagne, an especially strong vintage just for you and your unique abilities. I wanted you relaxed for tonight. ” There was a large bulge in Pierce's pants. The Asset had seen those before, and smelled that alpha- in- rut-smell that was now broadcasting from Pierce, the other men on his team had told him it was rude to look, so he glanced away quickly. Pierce took his hand and made him touch it. “I'm your alpha now. Don't be shy.”_

_“I don't understand,” The Asset said._

_“Then it's about time someone enlightened you,” Pierce said. “Get on your knees.”_

Nikolai shook in Brock's arms as he remembered the pain and fear of that night, naked in bed with Pierce, not understanding what was happening to him. His face was wet, he had never wanted Brock to see him with his face wet. 

“Look, I'm sorry,” Brock murmured. “It's over. We don't have to do any more. I'm gonna- I'm gonna sleep in the other room.”

Nikolai's heat broke the next day, he'd never been so relieved to have it over. 

 

“Today is Friday, what do we wear on Fridays?” Nikolai sat cross legged on the floor of Alexei's bedroom on _The Sundance_ , getting him ready to start the day. Alexei was an overexcited bundle of affection after not seeing his father for a week. Getting him to bed the night before had been a struggle and required no less than three readings of _Good Night, Moon_

“Friday shorts,” Alexei replied with a decisive head nod. Nikolai helped him put on the Days of the Week underpants, and then helped him with his khaki shorts. Amy, the shopper who chose his wardrobe also chose Alexei's, although it was Nikolai's job to teach the boy how to dress himself and follow the rules of clothing. 

“Up.” 

Alexei lifted his arms as Nikolai pulled a green polo shirt with a little alligator on the breast pocket over his head and chest. He held out the tiny sandals one at a time for Alexei to place his feet in. 

“What do you do next?”

“Eat with Papa!” 

“That's right. And it's wrong to be late.” The boy ran off to the upper deck, Nikolai followed. The cook had laid out a breakfast of sausages, pancakes, coffee and strawberry-kiwi juice. Alexander filled his own plate first, and then he nodded at Nikolai, who filled Alexei's plate, and then his own. Nikolai poured juice into a cup, put a lid on it and stuck a straw through the hole in the lid, then cut some sausage into small bites for the child, who clumsily speared them with a fork. 

“You will eat all of this,” he said. “And drink your juice.”

“Yes, Daddy.” 

“Do you know yet whether your recent outing was successful?” Alexander asked. He stirred his coffee and took a sip. 

“I should know soon,”Nikolai said. “I feel as though it was...successful.” 

“Where Daddy go before?” Alexei asked, bits of food falling out of his mouth. 

“Daddy is making a new baby,” Alexander replied. “Sometimes it makes him tired, so he has to go away and rest.” 

“Can make _babies_?” Alexei's mouth fell open and a piece of partially chewed sausage fell out. Nikolai grabbed a napkin and wiped his face. “Papa make babies?” 

“No, only Daddy can make babies,” Alexander said. “Papa helps, but Daddy does all the hard work.”

“Why ...?”

“Daddy is an _omega_ , “Alexander explained. “He has some different body parts, ones that make babies and make him good at taking care of them. It's a very big job. But he needs Papa to go to work and pay for the house and food. He needs Papa to protect him and that's why Papa can't make a baby, Papa is an _alpha_ , he has to be the boss so babies will be safe and healthy.”

“Papa is the boss,” Alexei said thoughtfully. Nikolai smoothed his curly brown hair. 

“Papa is the biggest boss, he protects the whole country,” Nikolai said. He couldn't help the dazed, adoring grin on his face as he watched his husband. “He's in charge of all of the armies and keeping bad people from hurting America.” 

“Oh.” Alexei grabbed his cup with both hands and slurped juice through the straw. “What am Alexei?” 

“You'll know when you're older,” Nikolai said. “When it's time to have your own babies.”


	6. You're so afraid

Three Years Ago

Brock searched his brain for whatever mistake he must have made. Alexander Pierce was calling him on the carpet about something unspecified. It could've been about the good job he did leading the Strike team during the launch of Project Insight, but he'd already received his commendation for that, Pierce wouldn't have time to just, like, hang out with him. He took the glass elevator up, got buzzed in, stood around waiting until the Secretary emerged and shook his hand. 

“Good to see you again, Agent Rumlow.” 

“You too, sir.” 

“Water? Scotch?” Pierce asked, gesturing to the beverage cart. 

“Water, I guess, still on duty.” He sipped lemon water out of a real glass instead of the plastic cups they had downstairs while Pierce took his time getting to the point. Pierce's alpha scent was overwhelming, traditionally masculine cigars and leather, and had an unsettling metallic edge to it. 

“That salon your ex wife runs, how's it doing?” Pierce asked casually. Brock blinked. He'd expected to be grilled on mission reports or budgeting concerns, maybe something stupid one of his guys had done, not his personal life. He stared ahead out the floor to ceiling windows that looked out over the city. 

“Uh, the economy's been bad and the rent doubled this year. She's struggling.” 

“That's a shame,” Pierce said. “I'd get you a raise but it's not in the budget. You have two little girls, right?” 

“Yes, sir.” 

“And which hospital did their mother give birth in?”

“Oh, uh, Saint Joseph's. It's a private Catholic hospital, sir.” Hello bizarre line of questioning. 

“That part's not important,” Pierce said, waving his hand dismissively. “Has either girl differentiated yet?” 

“Lily is only seven but Theresa is twelve and an alpha, sir.” 

“I wouldn't expect anything less.” Pierce smiled. “I know you're wondering why I'm so interested.”

“Wouldn't presume, sir,” Brock said quickly. Pierce smiled again. He opened a checkbook that had been sitting on his desk, and he filled out a check. He tore it out and placed it next to him. Brock could see he hadn't yet signed it. 

“Would fifty thousand take care of your wife's creditors?” 

“Yes, sir, I think so. But you just said a raise isn't in the budget,” Brock pointed out. 

“This is from my personal account,” Pierce replied. “Rumlow, I have a problem and I need an agent I can trust, who's proven he can do what I need him to do. You and I have a bond now, after everything you've done to help me bring about a new future for America, I know you'd never let me down.”

_Translation: I have so much dirt on you and if I wanted to, you wouldn't make it out of the building alive_.

“Sir?” Brock said out loud. 

“You may have heard I recently had a quiet bonding ceremony. My omega is twenty five and begs for a child of his own. I'm 74. I don't like admitting this but I'm determined to give him what he so badly wants even if we have to resort to...alternate means. If you consent, as an unmarried alpha capable of producing biological alpha children, we'd like to bring you in on the mission. Think about how much it would benefit both our families.”

That check on Pierce's desk was calling his name. With it, he'd be able to show Stacy he was trying to support her dream, and keep her and the kids off Welfare and maybe she'd give him another chance. He hated staying in SHIELD's alpha barracks and being mocked for losing his relationship. Before his success with the Project, they were starting to call him “Slumlow” behind his back for failing to control an omega so badly he'd been kicked out of his own house. 

“Okay,” Brock said, taking a deep breath. “I'll do it.” 

“Excellent. Nikolai is looking forward to your date.”

Meeting him? Brock had thought they just wanted his sperm for the turkey baster method. Maybe this was another loyalty test, maybe he'd get promoted later. It wasn't any worse than anything else he'd done in service of his country. In fact, it was better. No one would get hurt or killed, he was helping create a family, and that was a _good_ thing. In for a penny, in for a pound, right? 

“I'm sure we'll get along, sir, you've always had such good taste.”

“But you already do get along,” Pierce chuckled as he signed the check. “You've been working together for years. Did you think the Asset's parents named him _Asset_? His heat starts in a couple of days. Tonight, The Thistle and Lion, 8 sharp. There's a dress code, so wear a tie and jacket. You get half the money upfront, the rest when he conceives. ” 

One look at the dining room of The Thistle and Lion told Brock this wasn't his type of place. The furnishings were heavy, the walls dark paneled, gilt and Oriental carpeting figured a lot in the décor. It was like being in the library. He could see a game room and smoking lounge off through another doorway, they looked like something you'd see in a rich guy's vacation home. He jumped when he realized the Asset was standing silently next to him. 

“Stop creeping up on people,” Brock muttered. He shivered. Pierce's omega smelled of peppermint and pre heat. The Asset wore a well tailored black suit with his hair pulled back. He looked effortlessly fantastic. Brock had to choose between his weddings'n funerals suit or his job interview suit. He'd picked the job interview suit, since that was what this basically was, a job. 

“May I help you?” The hostess asked. 

“We have a reservation. It should be under Pierce,” Brock said. She checked her list and led them to a small semi private dining room, there were only three tables inside and none were in use. 

“Mr. Pierce has already ordered a special bottle of champagne but would you like water and bread?” She smiled sympathetically as the Asset struggled to unfold his napkin and spread it in his lap. 

“Please, mineral water,” the Asset said quietly. 

“Yeah, for me too,” Brock said. He had learned a long time ago never to turn down free food and water. He'd also noticed the expression of anxiety flashing across the Asset's face when the hostess mentioned Pierce's special bottle of champagne. What a strange reaction to being pampered by your rich and powerful lover. But maybe it came with strings attached, Pierce's favors often did, after all, that was why Brock was sitting across from a legendary assassin, in talks to make a baby with him. Although how much of a chore could this be, really? The Asset was hot, hotter than Pierce deserved. 

“How'd you even get here by yourself?” Brock asked when she left. The Asset looked up in surprise. 

“Bodyguard drove me,” he said. “Have we been here before?”

“No,” Brock said. “Well,I never have. Not my type of place. Too stuffy and next to you, I think I'm the youngest customer in here.” He opened the menu and stared down at it. He couldn't figure out where the prices were. But at least, since it was a place geared towards wealthy old male WASPs, the food was of the meat, potatoes and hearty soup variety so he didn't have to struggle through a list of fiddly dishes for dainty socialites or pretentious hipsters. 

A waiter entered with their waters, a basket of warm cornbread and the champagne in an ice bucket. 

“Would you like me to open the bottle?” he asked. 

“No, thank you,” Brock said. “We can manage. And uh, we'd both like to start with the tomato soup.” He added their order after he noticed the Asset staring dumbly at the menu as if he was a video still buffering. 

“Me too, buddy,” Brock said when the waiter had left again. “I'm thinking I'll get the filet mignon with the chef's signature sauce and then I think I'm gonna go for the crème brulee for dessert. Want the same?”

The Asset pointed to something on the menu with a questioning expression. Brock leaned over to read it. _Spaghetti with Meatballs_. The description explained that the meatballs would be arranged in a smiley face. 

“You sure you don't want to try a grownup dish? Something you can't make at home or get all over the damn city?” 

The Asset shook his head. 

“Okay, you can have it.” He was young, he was an omega, he'd spent years living off MREs and protein shakes, not too strange he'd be cautious while adjusting to thinking like a civilian. Pierce probably loved the childlike behavior anyway. They ordered their entrees and were once again left alone. 

“You can call me Nikolai. That's my name,” the Asset said after a moment of awkward silence. “Alexander said I forgot it, I forget things, I lose time. When I was on missions I had to go back to the cold room so I wouldn't hurt anyone. And then I would forget myself.” 

“I know. I used to work with you.”

“Was I – were we friends?” Nikolai asked. 

“You were a great partner in the field,” Brock replied. Nikolai looked so anxious that Brock opened the champagne and poured him a glass just to get that look off his face. It didn't help, but Nikolai obediently drank it anyway even though he clearly didn't want to. Brock appreciated compliance from his omegas, he was a little turned on by the way Nikolai didn't hesitate. 

He ate the spaghetti like it was his job. It was a little amusing, and simultaneously sexy the way his lips pursed around the noodles, and his tongue darted out to lick away sauce. He drank every glass of champagne Brock poured for him, even though he looked afraid and his movements grew clumsier. 

“Why don't you come here and sit in my lap?” Brock finally suggested. If nothing else, the kid could press those fantastic thighs against his cock, get him warmed up a little. 

“That's what I do for Alexander,” Nikolai said. “It's not for you.” But he was shivering and sweating with both drunkenness and his on coming heat. Pierce strolled in just as Brock figured he was going to have to wait til the hotel room they'd been promised before he got to sample the dessert menu. 

“It's alright, darling. I'm here. Make our guest feel welcome. You want a baby, don't you? If you want a baby, you have to let him put one in you.” 

“Aww, someone's shy,” Brock laughed. “It's okay. ”

“He is,” said Pierce. He stroked Nikolai's hair possessively as he made him sit on Brock's lap. “I find it incredibly appealing. I like knowing my omega has no motivation to stray. However, I don't need to get this place in hot water with the city health inspector, so why don't we move this happy event to the hotel?"


	7. So you try to break me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're starting this chapter still in Brock's flashback. Sorry about the wait, but I had a lot of trouble with one of these scenes because some of the creepy dub con involved.

The ride to the hotel was awkward, with Nikolai reeking of horny omega and whining under his breath and petting at Pierce, who kept trying to refocus his omega towards Brock. 

“Pay attention to your date, you're being rude, Nikolai. He came out tonight to see you.” Nikolai frowned, looked hurt, yet he immediately turned to Brock and started to stroke his leg like a nervous kitten. His eyes were big, and _drunk_. Brock was increasingly concerned that Pierce planned to hang around and watch them, but at the hotel he patted them both on the back and smiled. 

“I'll be in my own room if you need me, boys. But you'd better not.” He left them in the living room with a tray of chocolates and another ice bucket of the special champagne (“give him some if he's not cooperating,” Pierce had whispered in Brock's ear. Brock continued to wonder what the hell Pierce was spiking that stuff with).

“Guess I should debrief you.” Brock leaned back against the couch. Nikolai adopted a focused and receptive facial expression and posture. Right. Of course. He was literal minded. And swaying tipsily. 

“I was making a joke,” Brock sighed. “About taking off your underpants.” Nikolai flushed, glanced away. He was breathing harder, his pants tenting in the front, although Brock knew it wasn't for him, he was just convenient. 

“I don't know that joke.” 

“Do you even know where babies come from?” Brock sneered. 

“Yes.” Nikolai blinked at him drunkenly. 

“Do you know where they come _out_?” He crooked a finger at Nikolai, who shuffled over. 

“Doctor Caplan gave me a pamphlet. I can do it. It's what I'm for.” 

“Not gonna argue,” Brock said. Nature, God, the universe, whatever, had designed omegas for childbearing. He didn't really hold to the modern idea that omegas could be happy being childless. Sure, it was okay if they had jobs, he didn't begrudge Stacy her salon when he only made $50,000 a year, it was an appropriate business that left her time for the children and gave them a financial cushion. But then she'd started up that Libber crap about not wanting any more, and wanting to take time for herself. Fucking stupid, that's what it was. He looked up to Pierce for his ability to effortlessly keep his bitch in line. Of course, nobody else had access to a literal mind control machine. 

He began to undress Nikolai, pulling his shirt and jacket off, unzipping his suit pants and pushing them down. He actually wasn't wearing underwear. Maybe Pierce had ordered him to prepare himself ahead of time, make an effort to be sexy. Not that the former Asset needed to try all that hard to be sexy. But Nikolai just stood there and let Brock strip him, only moving or helping when he had no other choice. It was like undressing a doll and that dampened his enthusiasm a bit. 

“Taking a blow to my ego here,” Brock said. “Wait have you-?”

“I don't. I-” Nikolai frowned, and although he allowed himself to be guided to straddle Brock's lap, whimpering, and wet, the air was heavy with his scent and the thing he wasn't saying. He'd never done this with anyone except Pierce. “I want a baby. But I don't know how to make you want me.”

“Don't worry about it,” Brock assured him. “This is the least difficult job I've ever done for Pierce. One of the weirdest, sure, but alls he's asking me to do is fuck a gorgeous guy. We got all night. We'll get there. ” Pierce couldn't possibly have shown this poor kid all the options, and with the genetic enhancements giving Nikolai super strength and stamina, but a husband who could probably only go two rounds on a good night with a long break in between, he had to be _climbing the walls_. Or at least, that was Brock's excuse when he slipped two fingers into the omega's tight, wet heat. 

**Present Day**

“Look, Alexei, so many fish,” Nikolai let the boy stand near the railing, holding him around the waist so he wouldn't get blown overboard. Nikolai gasped in exaggerated surprise as a dolphin leaped out of the water and disappeared again. “What was that? That was a _dolphin_. Just like your toy.” 

“It gets on the boat?” Alexei asked excitedly. 

“No, it won't come on the boat,” Nikolai said, “Fish have to stay in the water or they can't live.”

“I pet it,” Alexei said. “Like my toy.”

“Puppy, no, they are wild animals and they might be dangerous or sick.” 

“Okay, Daddy.”

“You are being very good.” Maybe Nikolai could convince Alexander to take them to an aquarium. That place that advertised on tv. Sea World. A wave splashed over the edge of the deck and soaked them both, Alexei's giggle was infectious and they were both laughing and snuggling when he heard Alexander's voice behind him. 

“I wouldn't have a problem with a tame fish. How about that, Alex? Want your own fish?”

“Papa, yes, please!” Alexei stuck his arms up in the 'pick me up' gesture and Alexander lifted him out of Nikolai's arms. 

“Come on, let's order some fish on the computer.”  
“Papa, I can have doffins?” Alexei asked as they headed below deck. 

“Well, I'm going to have to put my foot down and say no dolphins. Where would we put them, silly goose?”

Nikolai allowed them their time alone, he needed breathing room too. He gave his family a half hour before he joined them below deck in Alexander's makeshift computer room. Alexei sat on his father's lap while Pamela helped them finish ordering the new pets. 

“There,” she said brightly, clicking on the “confirm order” button. “The tank and rainbowfish will be delivered to your house and set up for you so they'll be all ready to go when you get back!” 

“Yay!” Alexei clapped his little hands. 

“We should celebrate with a movie,”Alexander said. “I think you know which one I want to watch.”

“Papa puts on _Nemo_ ,” Alexei said. Nikolai didn't enjoy that cartoon, there were no such things as fish that talked like people, and it was filled with jokes he didn't understand but everyone else did. But when Alexander was with them, he chose for the family, not that Nikolai would go against his wishes if he wasn't there either, he was happy if they were happy. So he sat with them and watched the talking fish movie, with his head resting comfortably on Alexander's shoulder, the baby cuddled protectively between them.

His mate and child were both asleep before the end of the movie. Not built to tire as easily, Nikolai was awake and restless. He shut the tv off, and draped a blanket over his husband before putting Alexei to bed. He climbed up to the middle deck and curled up in a deck chair, feeling the gentle rocking of the boat and the cool breeze in his hair. He placed a hand on his stomach, wondering if anything was happening down there yet. It only brought back the memory of making this new baby with Brock, of touching each other in bed. Like his first time with Alexander, he'd hated it at the start, alphas had to be rough the first time so you would understand you were not in charge, but they had figured out easier strategies during their other encounters. Nobody hurt him now that he understood what to do. He craved them both but the imaginings he had begun to make in his head were all of Brock, not only of things they'd already done but things he thought would feel good to try. As his mind filled with pictures of naked skin on naked skin, Brock's capable hands on him and inside him, Nikolai pushed his own hand under the waistband of his swim suit. He touched himself, searching for the places Brock liked to touch him, trying to recreate it. He bit back a moan, his body shook and he clapped a hand over his mouth to smother the cry as the sort of pleasure he rarely felt ripped through him. 

**Three Years Ago**  
 _  
“So I heard you want to get pregnant,” Doctor Caplan said cheerfully. Nikolai didn't _want_ much, he didn't know how he felt about becoming a parent, only that the psychologist said it would help him settle and Alexander had agreed that it was cruel to keep denying him the opportunity to fulfill his purpose as an omega. He sat on paper sheets on an exam table, in his underwear under a paper robe. He had been poked and prodded in his private parts, and now she was telling him the results of her assessment. He was healthy and there was no reason why he shouldn't be extremely fertile. _

_“Unfortunately, because of your partner's advanced age, his seed may not be viable. You said you've been trying for months and unless something is going wrong during knotting, it's probably an age issue. It's not your fault and it's not his, it's a simple fact of biology that conception becomes more difficult as we age. It's why we try to find our mates as early as possible.”_

_Nikolai nodded. It was why rich people still made their eighteen year old children go through courting seasons, and why poorer kids were eager to find their mate by high school graduation. He didn't remember high school, but he had seen the soap operas on tv._

_“It could get difficult for you, for the sake of an omega's health, the medical community recommends conceiving every three to four years,” she continued. “The sooner and more often you want to have a child, the more important it will be for you to find a good sperm donor. I've already spoken to your alpha about the issue and he's consented to help you pick out a candidate. Do you have any questions?”_

_Nikolai stared down at his hands, folded in his lap like they always were when he was Listening to Instructions. He had questions, but he would not ask them. They were too stupid, if he told the doctor he didn't understand what a 'sperm donor' entailed, she would laugh at him.  
_


	8. I don't wanna care

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, we start off with Brock's flashback to the night he was first with Nikolai.
> 
> I know this chapter seems choppy, but there are going to be lots of updates coming, because it's all really starting to come together in my head.
> 
> OH, and there's a [Chinese translation courtesy of Darchi.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2203539/chapters/4828230)

“More,” Nikolai moaned, rubbing himself lazily against Brock's thigh. Brock pushed him back with his hand.

“Fucking NO. You're gonna break my dick.” What had Hydra been thinking, taking a man in his twenties in peak physical condition and giving him the stamina of several men in their twenties, then denying him sex for a very long time? How was it that he'd done all the fucking, but Nikolai was fine and he was the one who was sore? Brock ached in places he'd forgotten he had. It did make Brock cheer up a little when he pictured Alexander Pierce collapsing of a heart attack from a marathon of sex like this one. “Go take a cold bath. Stay in til you start to get wrinkles in your fingers. Then put on a robe, and watch the tv. Go.” He used his Alpha Voice, not that he needed it with the well trained Asset, he just liked using it on omegas. As a teenager, it had been great for getting other kids to hand over their lunches. Or anything else he wanted. Now that he was in his forties, his priorities were different and he was really going to enjoy his two hour nap. 

“Do you have an internet I can read?” Nikolai asked after three hours of dutifully watching HBO. Brock had ordered gourmet cheeseburgers and snooty beers from room service, which they consumed while absorbed in the convoluted plots of _Game of Thrones_. They'd had a surprisingly lucid discussion of the fight choreography and weapons details, and a surreal one about dragons. Nikolai had trouble processing the magical elements of the show, it hampered his understanding of what was going on during the parts where people weren't hitting each other with things. 

“An- what? You know you're not allowed to, what do you even want it for?”

“I want to learn jokes. You can supervise me if it helps.” 

Sudden random topic change, sure, but Brock was used to this from the Asset. Who knew what went on in his beautiful, empty head, how he arrived at any original “thoughts”. Nikolai wanted to please him by correcting an earlier mistake, nothing weird about that. And Brock had an opportunity to teach him jokes Pierce would never appreciate hearing from his beloved pet's lips. 

“Alright, fine. Come here.” Brock held up one hand in warning. “But no sex, are we clear?”

“Yes, Agent Rumlow.” Still wearing the fluffy robe, Nikolai settled next to him on the bed while Brock pulled up some humor websites on his phone. 

_Present Day_

“A van from Capitol Exotic Pets just delivered a big aquarium and what appear to be several fish,” Sam reported from his vantage point across the street from the Pierce penthouse. “Pierce's daughter is there. She's talking to the housekeeper. Now she's leaving. Nat's gonna follow.”

Wearing a dark wig that just brushed her chin, Natasha followed Cynthia Pierce Hoffernan's town car in a nondescript brown sedan. They drove for several minutes before turning into a large shopping mall.Cynthia got out and walked into one of the anchoring department stores. Natasha's sensible black linen trousers and white blouse allowed her to fit in almost anywhere, with improvised accessories she could pass as a waiter, museum docent, magazine editor, nun or just about any anonymous employee of a large corporation. The employees of this store wore bright red blazers. Natasha ducked into the employee breakroom, which was luckily empty and had one red blazer hanging off the back of a plastic chair. Natasha put it on and slipped back onto the sales floor. She figured she only had a few minutes before- she checked the plastic name tag- “Brenda” came looking for her uniform. She caught up with Cynthia upstairs in the toy department.

“Let me know if I can help you,” Natasha said politely, adding a hint of a southern accent as she pretended to casually pass by and straighten a display of Grumpy Cat dolls. 

“Yes, I'm looking for a birthday gift for my little brother.” Cynthia was an average sized woman, dressed typically for her age (forties), economic class (affluent) and location (a not exactly trendy city when it came to fashion), and unlike her little brother, she shared her father's red blonde coloring. 

“Sure, how old is he? What are his interests?” 

“He's turning three. I know, I know. I look too old to have such a little, little brother. Daddy's new omega is in his twenties. I'm trying not to feel weird about it but my daughter's helped change her uncle's diapers.”

“Mhmm,” Natasha replied. Cynthia would just keep talking as long as she had an indication someone was listening. And she was quite the blabbermouth for the daughter of a former intelligence operative. 

“I know, it's what alphas like my father do. Powerful men always want one more litter with a fertile young thing who worships them but has to take their shoes off to count to twenty. I mean, Nikolai's a good mommy and I know he loves my dad but that boy's dumber than a box of hair. At least Daddy's got the son he always wanted. God willing, the kid turns out alpha too.” Cynthia examined a stuffed Captain America doll with an oversized head, made a barely concealed grimace and tossed it back on the pile of seventy percent off Avengers merchandise. “Still can't believe he killed his boss and went on the lam.”

“Anyone heard why he did it?” Natasha asked.

“ My father says sometimes people who've seen too much war, they just snap. They start seeing everything as a battlefield and can't function like civilians.”

“S' damn tragic, is what it is,” Natasha said. “Does your brother like animals?”

“He's obsessed with fish right now. I had to go by the house to supervise the delivery of his aquarium since Daddy took off on the boat for the whole summer.”

“Maybe you could get him a few things for the fish?” Natasha suggested. Not a suggestion she'd ever make if she really worked here, she'd lose the commission. “Some plants and fake rocks? And, what about this adorable stuffed monk seal? It benefits the World Wildlife Fund”

“Oh, it's so cute. Alexei will love it.”

“Hey,” Natasha said. “How about you go get the fish stuff, and I'll get it all gift wrapped for you?”

Cynthia loved the idea, and cheerfully handed over her purchases for “Brenda” to take to Gift Wrapping. While walking to the back of the store alone, Natasha quickly hid minuscule waterproof microphones inside the fake fish tank rocks.

“You were so much help,” Cynthia said as she headed for the cash registers. “You're a real life saver.”

“No problem,” Natasha said brightly. “You have good day, now!” 

Alexei was down for his nap. Pamela was reading in the guest berth, near enough to hear Alexei if there was trouble. The cook was watching football in his own room. Nikolai was alone with Alexander in peace and quiet, sipping frosty strawberry daiquiris and listening to an old man on the radio tell a boring story about growing up in small town Vermont. It was nice. Alexander was in an indulgent mood, and the warmth and security of his alpha's touch was all Nikolai needed. Tomorrow they were going to a party on a private island, Nikolai would be shown off like a trophy, ignored, talked down to, but for now he could just be alone and quiet with his mate.

“You might get a sunburn,” Nikolai said. He showed Alexander the bottle of sunscreen. “Let me?”

“I do need a little more,” Alexander agreed. He shifted on the lounger, Nikolai straddling it behind him. Nikolai squirted cream on his hands, shifted closer and started to gently rub his husband's back. Alexander liked to be the one who decided when they would fool around or have sex, but Nikolai had a lot of ways of suggesting the idea without asking for anything. And they had plenty of time to start something. 

“And then I will make you another drink, hmm?”


	9. And I don't wanna hate

“We do have a separate room with puppy snacks and games,if he'd rather,” the hostess of the party said, gesturing to Alexei in his khaki pants and Hawaiian shirt,tucked in Nikolai's arms. The invitation had requested guests show up in 'tropical casual', clothing Nikolai was sure he looked faintly ridiculous in. All these magnates of industry and government, dressed like background characters from that detective show from the 70s. “ A lot of people brought their kids, maybe he'll make some friends with whom he...will one day share values.” 

“Nikolai, why don't you take Alexei to the puppy room?” Alexander suggested. “Senator Stern is here and I very much need to speak with him.”

The puppy room was at the other end of the house, a large, blue painted room with more big windows overlooking the ocean. It had a cheaper carpet, dotted with furry beanbag chairs. There were Barbie dolls, and teddy bears, and Legos, and children's books. _Lilo and Stitch_ ran on the tv, and a long party table was set up in the back with chips, cookies and juice. Nikolai would much rather stay in here, and he knew that taking your turn watching the children was sometimes an acceptable choice but Alexander had not given him permission. He made the mistake of saying something similar out loud when the other omega in the room saw he was nervous and asked him if he wanted to help her set up the pinata. He knew from the strange look she gave him that he'd said something wrong. Why did so many other omegas react oddly to his demonstrations of respect and obedience? It was like they didn't even care enough to try. 

Alexander had drinks for them when he got back, and small pastries with French goat cheese and bacon inside. He hoped no one could see how much his hands shook. He never knew, when Alexander gave him champagne, whether it would be the kind that had no effect on him, or the kind that meant Alexander wanted to do things to him that he might be grateful to not remember. He ended up drinking four glasses and learned that it was the kind he didn't like. 

“Of course, we understand you deserve time to relax and enjoy the spoils of your hard work,” Senator Stern was saying. “It's just that it's been three years and we haven't moved on to the next phase of the plan. We were told that getting the helicarriers up and in use by developed countries was just the start. Are you too busy playing house?”

“Are you implying I'm going soft?” Alexander asked. 

“I wasn't implying anything, Secretary, I was stating it outright. People are wondering how you managed to get your omega knocked up at all with your waning potency.” 

Tony and Pepper, his friends! He waved at them when Alexander wasn't looking. They saw him and they waved back, like they really wanted to see him again. Tony beckoned him over. 

“It's a party,” Tony said. “And you look like you're in Hell.” 

“I don't enjoy these,” Nikolai admitted. He rolled his fingers around the stem of his champagne glass just for something to do with his hands. 

“Maybe if you danced,” Tony suggested, doing a weird little wiggle. 

“Will you show me?” Nikolai asked. He thought he might be drunk, to be so brave to ask that.   
But there was one thing he was sure of, his body could do whatever he asked of it and do it well. He easily copied Tony and Pepper's moves, delighted to realize that the skills which made him an excellent fighter were useful for dancing. He even started to improvise the way Pepper did, the way she moved her head and arms. He felt curious eyes on him, people must like watching the way his body moved. That was a new feeling and he loved it. He had found another thing he knew how to do well that didn't hurt anyone. But Alexander did not like other people watching him unless he was showing who owned him. Alexander had an expression on his face that pretended to be happy but really meant he was furious. If Nikolai didn't stop, he was Going to Get It later. He didn't want to stop feeling free and happy for once, so he didn't until Alexander made his way over and grabbed his arm tightly. 

“Stop.”

“I don't want to.”

“Go to our guest room,” Alexander said in the alpha voice Nikolai couldn't ignore. “You will stay there until I say you can come out. Go.” Nikolai went, careful not to look anyone in the eye. He was confused about protocol, Alexander wanted him to fit in, and kept bringing him places with other people who liked it when he participated, but Alexander didn't want him to show too much initiative, but how much was too much? He wondered if this was one of those times he'd been set up to make a mistake because Alexander had a devious punishment he was eager to try out. 

“I don't want to intrude,” Pepper said as she did exactly that, “But wasn't that a little harsh? He was dancing. It's a party.” Tony wisely kept his mouth shut. Sometimes you had to play the game and the game here was _omega doesn't offer an opinion_. 

“He disobeyed me in public. He knows better than that. I will have order in my family. If you'll excuse me,” Pierce said, “I have to find our hosts and let them know my omega will be contributing to the entertainment later tonight.” He walked off, murmuring “If he wants to make a spectacle of himself...” 

“What does he mean, 'entertainment'?” Pepper asked worriedly. 

“I don't think they're planning on karaoke,” Tony replied. “I think this is one of those creepy Hydra parties I've heard about. All the non Hydra people, like us, will be out the door by ten or eleven and then the real 'fun' starts.” 

“We can't leave him here,” Pepper said. She looked down at the suddenly unappetizing refreshment table in disgust. Once the guests who didn't happen to be wearing little gold tentacle monster pins began to wander off to their boats or guest cabins, Pepper and Tony pretended to follow. 

“I know the host, Bill Coleman, from boarding school,” Tony remarked as they found the Pierce's cabin and tapped on the door. “I totally figured he'd grow up to be evil but he always invites me to parties and he's thrown some good ones.” 

Nikolai answered the door in nothing but a pair of thin black pajama pants. They both tried not to stare too hard at his flawless torso. 

“Hi,” he said, subdued, eyes lowered. “Please, come in, do you want to sit and have water, tea or wine?”

“Odd way of phrasing that,” Tony said,” but no. We're here to spring you.”

“Alexander is planning to humiliate you in front of a lot of people,” Pepper said. “For disobeying him. That's not right, we're not letting it happen.” 

“We can get you out before the freaky _Eyes Wide Shut_ portion starts. I think you're the main act,” Tony added

“All you have to do, honey, is just take Tony's hand and let him bring you back to our boat. I'll get Alexei,” Pepper said. 

“Alexander loves me, he never lets them go too far.” 

“Wait, you knew this might happen?” Pepper gasped. He expected it, yet he made no move to get away, sitting there like a doll. “Has he done this before? You know you don't have to let him just because you're his omega, don't you?” 

“Pepper's my alpha,” Tony said, touching Nikolai awkwardly on his flesh arm. “But she never makes me do things that I'm really, like, genuinely uncomfortable with, because we love each other. If Alexander really loved you, he would let you dance, have friends, and he'd never whatever he's about to do.” 

“Alexander needs to remind them of his power. He uses me. I don't mind.” He sounded like he very much did mind, blinking watery eyes and speaking with a strained voice. But he was an adult, he couldn't be dragged away from a situation he refused to admit he wasn't consenting to, they both knew that. Not just because he was stronger than either of them and they literally couldn't drag him away. The idea of rescuing him had seemed so easy when they'd sailed to the island, they'd failed to plan for the part where he wouldn't leave. “And the children won't know, they're all asleep. Please, I'm okay, you should go while you can.” 

“You were very helpful tonight,” Alexander said as he lay with Nikolai's back against his chest. “You more than made up for your earlier defiance by showing everyone that I still have your submission. As long as they understand that, there won't be any mutinies.” 

“That's good,” Nikolai murmured, blinking back tears as he thought about this betrayal, and the results of the test he'd taken before the party. All his excitement and eagerness to share the good news (another baby!) had fizzled out. 

“I know, darling, that I promised you no more assignments. But this one is important, you won't mind. That man you were dancing with tonight. The omega, Tony Stark. I would like you to eliminate him. And his alpha if you can manage it. Make it look like an accident.”

He _did_ mind but these were not requests even if they were phrased like requests. Nikolai felt two emotions bubbling up inside that were becoming more and more familiar to him. The hot sting of humiliation. And _anger_.He couldn't remember being angry at Alexander before. It made him feel guilty, but also stronger. 

“I will need to go to shore. To make arrangements.”

“We'll all go. Alexei's never been to Disney World.” 

Nikolai had never been either, and he didn't like Disney World. How could you spot potential threats in those crowds full of people in masks? It was hot. And everyone was fat, and slow, and loud. Alexei loved it. Their alpha bought him a weird hat with cartoon mouse ears and too much candy. He tried soda for the first time, and that was a mistake. He was hyper and wore out his Papa. Alexander was too tired at the end of the day to want to touch in bed, Nikolai felt strangely relieved. 

But Pepper and Tony were there, because Tony had to help judge a competition for teen inventors. So Nikolai had someone to talk to who wasn't an old man or a toddler, he went for hamburgers with Tony and he was able to ask for help on a surprise he said he was planning for Alexander. Lying, that was another interesting skill he was getting better at. 

“I'm going to have another baby,” Nikolai explained. That part, at least, wasn't a lie. “I won't be able to do this surprise again for awhile, so this is how I'm going to tell him.”

“I gotta say, this music doesn't seem like your thing,” Tony said. “But I did make the playlist and I set up an appointment with my friend over at Heads and Tails in DC for a private lesson.” 

“Oh, yes, Alexander and I are big fans of these uh bands,” Nikolai said as Tony synced the playlist to his Ipod. “Thank you.” 

“Sure you are,” Tony said with a hint of skepticism. “But if he doesn't appreciate your efforts because he doesn't like your taste, that's his problem. You get that, right? You don't have to like the same things, you're a person too.” 

“Alexander wants you dead,” Nikolai blurted out. _A person. You don't have to like the same things. Alexander didn't like Tony, Nikolai did_. 

“Already knew that, yes,” Tony said. “The only reason I'm not is because I keep managing to not be where they expect to find me and they can't justify the expense of chasing me to the government.”

“He told me to do it.”

“Oh?” Tony said cautiously. He probably knew he wouldn't get away if he tried to run. He had no weapons. 

“I'm not-I'm not going to,” Nikolai said, fidgeting awkwardly. 

“That's a big step,” Tony said. “I'm proud of you. And congratulations on the addition to your family. Gimme five.”

Nikolai frowned. 

“Minutes or dollars?”


	10. And I don't wanna see you fall too far away

“Are you in heat? Cause I don't think you're supposed to call me on your own.” As he heated up a microwave dinner in the SHIELD barracks kitchen, Brock heard Nikolai laugh softly on the other end of the phone . 

“I'm not in heat. And you're my friend. I can call my friends,” Nikolai said. 

No, Brock was sure he wasn't allowed to do that either. But Pierce possibly assumed Nikolai just didn't have any, a situation he'd worked hard to create in the first place. He stood there watching the plate slowly rotate. 

“No, you can't. How'd you get a phone?” 

“I borrowed Pamela's,” Nikolai explained. “She's in the shower because Alexei threw up all of his ice cream in her hair. I forgot to tell her he doesn't digest it well and I suggested they have a contest to-”

“To see who could eat it fastest,” Brock supplied, smirking to himself. “But what did you need to tell me?”

“I want to see you,”Nikolai said. “I have a surprise. A-a game.”

“ But you're not in heat. So basically you're whoring around behind his back. As close as you ever get to being in your right mind and you still wanna fuck. Me. Brock Rumlow.” He couldn't help wondering _why_? The Pierces had already gotten what they wanted from him. 

“Yes, please. Will you get a hotel room?”

“...Of course I'll get a room.” Brock pretended to sound reluctant. “What about Alexei?” 

“His sister is taking him to a museum on Friday, they'll be gone all day, he's sleeping at her house, and Alexander will be in New York City all weekend for meetings.”

“Why isn't he dragging you with him?” Brock asked. He poked at the half burned pasta and sighed. “I thought Pierce didn't like it when you're left to your own devices.” 

“He says I wouldn't enjoy New York. I can go anywhere with him except there, he says I did something bad there. ”Nikolai's voice turned nervously inquisitive, “Is that true?” 

Of course Pierce wouldn't want him visiting New York. Brock had heard that the last time The Asset had been there, back in the 70s, he'd run away. It took them weeks to get him back. There were rumors he was from the city and it had triggered his memories. 

“I think you'd love it,” Brock said. “It's an amazing place. And you didn't do anything there that's any worse than your other jobs. Anyways, you don't need to use a phone to reach me, that's not safe. You use the library?”

“Yes, I bring Alexei there for Story Time on Saturdays. Sometimes on Wednesdays if it's raining or we need to settle down.”

“Good. Next time you go, ask to use a computer and email me.”

“I don't have email,” Nikolai reminded him. 

“ Right. Damn. Not even for supervised online shopping? What the hell do you actually do all day when you're not with Alexei? Ask the librarian to help you set up an email account on one of those free sites. They're happy to help. We can talk that way. I'll see you this weekend, okay?” 

On Wednesday, Brock received an email from petrushka25@hotmail.com 

_Hi please wait for me in the room with dim lights and all of your clothes OFF Thank You. PS WhiCh hotel?_

Brock arrived Friday night, checking in before Nikolai in order to get ready. It wasn't going to be the kind of five star experience they had when Pierce was footing the bill, but the hotel was the nicest room in the nicest place he could afford. He began undressing as soon as he was inside the room, leaving his clothes in a pile on a chair. Brock showered off the sweat of his work day while he waited, dried off, vainly fluffed his hair in the mirror, dimmed the lights and lay back on his elbows on the bed. He was excited, intrigued, by Nikolai's surprise. He'd never thought he'd have the opportunity to bed the former Asset without feeling like a damn hooker, a horse put out to stud or that Nikolai would want him for himself. Brock told himself he probably didn't, Nikolai wanted sex and just didn't know anyone else to call. Maybe he was even a pawn in some scheme to get back at Pierce for the Hydra party incident (yes, he'd heard about that, everyone knew about that). Still, it was a great horny fantasy and he was into whatever they were going to end up doing. He stroked himself casually, thinking about it. 

He heard a keycard in the lock about fifteen minutes later and felt a shiver down his spine that shot right to his cock. A slim male figure with shoulder length dark hair entered and placed an Ipod on the entryway table and turned it on, music floating through the room at moderate volume. He grinned as he recognized the opening riffs of Sweet Emotion by Aerosmith. _YES!_. Nikolai shifted and twisted his lithe body gracefully, moving into the light as he shed his t shirt. It should have been ridiculous but he made it work, Brock had never been so utterly mesmerized by a strip tease. Nikolai unbuttoned his jeans, shimmied out of them and kicked them aside with a practiced flip of his foot. He was now standing directly in front of Brock, fingers poised shyly at the waistband of his skimpy blue briefs. He turned around and slowly bent over, ass in Brock's face as he lowered his briefs, looking at Brock through his legs and biting his lip adorably. He came back up just as slowly, turned around again, crouched between his knees. 

“No touching.”

“I know the rules,” Brock laughed. He was pretty hard by that point, Nikolai licked his cock and sucked it a few times teasingly, giving Brock the kind of filthy look he didn't think the Soldier was capable of. Brock wondered why he'd never asked for that before, and promised himself he would again in the future, Nick had a mouth perfect for sucking. Nikolai rose again, turned around, wiggled his ass against Brock's lap in wicked circles before facing him and pushing him backwards onto the bed. Nikolai crawled up toward him, doing a perfectly executed Tawny Kitaen hair toss, the ends brushing against Brock's skin. He gave Brock's nipples gentle bites and soothed them with his tongue. Brock was aching by then,trying to restrain his alpha urge to just grab Nikolai and throw him down and get to it. The little bites continued like sweet torture. He let out a groan of relief as Nikolai shuffled backward and impaled himself on Brock's hardness and rode him to both their shuddering climaxes. 

“I loved the hair thing,” Brock said as they lay tangled together after. “I've seen people hurt themselves trying to pull that off.” 

“Thank you.” After a minute or two of comfortable silence, Nikolai added, “I'm pregnant.” 

“Is it-?” Brock asked. He stroked a hand over Nikolai's stomach, still taut as ever. He healed so fast there wasn't even a scar from his previous C-section. But soon it would swell as their baby grew inside him. If they were in a real relationship, everyone would know Nikolai had been claimed. He couldn't think about it without a spike of violent jealousy towards his employer. 

“Yours? Yes, of course,” Nikolai said. 

“You mean, it's Pierce's,” Brock muttered. 

“I don't know if I want him to have it,” Nikolai admitted in a faintly tearful voice. “I'm tired of everyone being mean to me.” 

“He's just trying to be a good alpha,”said Brock. “It's not as easy as it looks. But hey,” he tried to change the subject. “I'm proud of you for figuring out email. But I thought 'petrushka' meant 'parsley?”

“It's also a story about a puppet who is kept in a cage and treated badly, then he begins to have feelings,” Nikolai explained. “It's a ballet. I saw it with my parents, I think?” 

“Oh.” There was a lot more going on in Nick's head than Brock had figured. The concept of the Asset being even remotely self aware, that would have seemed ridiculous just four years ago. But Nikolai, although he wasn't too bright, was warm, affectionate, fun to be around, a good wife and mother who Alexander Pierce didn't deserve. He seethed at the thought of that old creep's hands on _his_ Nick, fucking him, raising Brock's children as his, but what was the point? He wasn't the kind of guy who got a true bond and a happy ending.

 

“I'm sorry, Cap,we ran out of excuses for showing up where ever they were. We got him alone, we had an escape route, could've made it but he wouldn't come with.” On the computer monitor, Tony was eating a sub sandwich the size of his head. His paper cup of whatever he was drinking was the length of his forearm. 

“It's okay, you guys did the best you could,” Steve said. “And you got us a lot more valuable intel. Thanks for trying, I know it was a big favor to ask. ”

“He's still sending Bucky on missions,”Tony said. With his mouth full, it sounded more like _'heath till thending Buffy on mittens'._ “Bucky told me Pierce has a personal hit out on me now, he's supposed to do it himself but he's planning on, well, not doing it. So we _got to_ him if he's questioning orders, it's just a question of how we give him the final push he needs.” 

“How the Hell does Pierce think this is going to work?” Steve asked. “He can't have it both ways.”

“You know that's gonna end in disaster,”Sam remarked , looking up from the book he was reading. “He'll end up car bombing the PTA and sending a tray of homemade lemon bars to the Pope.”

“Here's the routine when they're in DC,” Natasha said, entering the bunker with a USB stick she plugged into a lap top. It brought up several surveillance photos of Bucky and Pierce, back from vacation. “On Saturdays, Bucky drops Alexei at Story Time at the library, and he walks the Farmer's Market with Pierce's housekeeper. She seems to do all the shopping. Saturday night appears to be Date Night for Pierce and Bucky. Sundays, the family goes to services at the National Cathedral, then to brunch and golf at the country club. Three days a week, Alexei does morning preschool at a daycare for the kids of Department of Defense employees. Bucky spends that time at a nearby gym. Then he picks Alexei up and they eat lunch at the same cafe down the street, called Charlie Bravo, and always eat the same thing. They run errands for awhile, and go home. The other two days, they take a Mommy and Me yoga class-”

“Oh my god,” Tony said. “He's living in Hell”. 

“This is adorable,” Sam said at the same time. “I want his life so bad. Except for the part where I'd have to let Alexander Pierce mount me and perpetuate his gene pool.” 

“I don't know,” Tony said. “Pierce's kid looks nothing like him, it's weird.”

“I met the daughter,” said Natasha, “She's a strawberry blonde with fair skin and light eyes, while her brother is uh, more Mediterranean looking. I wonder if someone should be investigating the milkman. If you know what I mean.” 

“Bucky did do something weird,” Tony mused. “He asked me to help him make a playlist, he said it was a surprise for Pierce. Only the playlist is full of music I could swear a guy like Pierce does not enjoy. And he wanted me to find him some stripper lessons. I know it's a big fad among suburban housewives right now but-”

“Guys, not really _important_ right now,” Steve said. “ Here's what I want to do. We need to surround Bucky with people who can help him get out if he wants to run. Sam, you're not officially wanted by the cops and you're still in good standing with the Air Force, you try and get a job inside the daycare. Tony, you're on standby, if Bucky contacts you, do whatever you need to do but otherwise hold off and play nice with Pierce. Natasha, just keep tailing the family. I'm going to wait here and feel _completely useless_. Wait- _stripper lessons_?”

In the ensuing argument between Steve and Tony, no one heard Natasha murmur "Oh yeah, by the way, Bucky spent the weekend in a hotel with Brock Rumlow."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tawny Kitaen is a model who  is known for appearing in a lot of 80s hard rock videos


	11. All because of fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short update before the holiday

“So. Here we are,” Brock commented. 

“Yes, we are here,” Nikolai replied. His tone and expression didn't indicate whether he was being serious or sarcastic. “In ugly sweaters.” Brock wore a lurid orange sweater with a giant felt applique of The Grinch. It suited his mood. The private Christmas party for Pierce's favorite employees, with the huge designer tree and Phil Spector Christmas album playing and the fancy finger food was not exactly the place he wanted to be at the moment. The red and white Nordic sweater Nikolai was wearing wouldn't have drawn anyone's eye except for the string of small Christmas lights woven through it, which were currently blinking. At five months along, Nikolai was getting chubby, that combined with the sweater made him look softer and cuddlier. A huggable former killing machine sipping sparkling cider from a champagne flute. HYDRA affiliated executives mingled with politicians, laughing over gingerbread cookies and mini quiches. A dark haired toddler played with a toy train at the foot of the giant Christmas tree, he was wearing a purple sweater with that annoying snowman from _Frozen_ on it, and a pair of reindeer antlers. Brock hadn't seen Nikolai in weeks, he was trying to make sure Nick was the one who decided when they hooked up, and he probably wouldn't get many chances the more pregnant the other man got. Alexander would keep him close to home and well supervised. Speak of the Devil. 

“Agent Rumlow, glad you could make it,” Pierce said. He wore a Rudolph sweater with a glowing red nose. He put his arm around Nikolai's shoulders. Nikolai rubbed his stomach nervously. “Having fun?”

“It's a good party, Sir.” 

“Nikolai, darling, would you go ask the caterer if we have another tray of crab puffs?” 

Nikolai melted away like a ghost. Alexander Pierce steered Brock toward a collection of silver framed photographs arranged on the black piano. There were photos of Cynthia at all ages, and photos of a much younger Pierce on his wedding day, photos of the bride only much older, and photos of people Brock didn't recognize but assumed must be other family members. But the ones in front were all Nikolai and Alexei. 

“My family is very important to me, Rumlow. I love my omega, my daughter and my little boy. I love the child we're about to have as much as I _know_ you love your daughters.” He stroked a photo of Nikolai with one gentle finger. “This is the most beautiful thing I own and I worked hard to acquire it. No one is going to endanger the life we have together. I'm not the sort of man who fails his family. I hope you understand what I'm saying.” 

“Yes, of course,” Brock replied. He suddenly found it difficult to swallow. Pierce patted him on the shoulder and wandered off. Brock grabbed a goblet of cranberry vodka off the buffet table, chugged the whole thing down, then slipped into a nearby bathroom to splash cold water on his face. How the fuck _dare_ Alexander Pierce rub it in that Brock had failed his wife and daughters? How dare he gloat and threaten at the same time. On the way back down the hall, a metal hand shot out and pulled him into the darkened library. Brock watched a trail of Christmas lights travel across the room and there was soft,low light from a small desk lamp. He went to Nikolai and kissed him. It only took seconds to become a full on makeout session, with Brock trying to shove his hand up Nikolai's shirt and Nikolai trying to shove his hand down Brock's pants. 

“Be careful of my bulbs!” Nikolai panted as Brock pressed him against the desk. 

“I'm being careful!” Brock protested. Nikolai pushed him away breathlessly, patting at his rumpled sweater.

“I want to show you something.” Nikolai walked to the bookshelves and returned with a thin book, the kind artists used to protect and display their work He handed it to Brock awkwardly. Inside was a collection of still photographs, largely of European print ads and shots of runway shows, all featuring Nikolai. 

“It's uh, these are good,” Brock said because he didn't know what Nikolai wanted to hear. His metal arm was either concealed or Photoshopped out in all the shots, but that ad for the Italian bottled water, where he was shirtless and pouring it all over himself was incredible. 

“Do you remember this?” Nick asked. “I don't really - everyone says I was a model but I don't really remember doing most of this. I just somehow know a lot about clothes now. ”

“It was part of your cover for the...for the other thing,” Brock admitted. “A reason to travel around the world, an invitation to the hottest parties and clubs, which means access to high profile figures, you know. No one would put it together.”

“Oh, that's what I thought,” Nikolai said. He leaned over and whispered, “I can't tell what's real anymore. Is this life? Are my babies real?” He touched his stomach. 

“Your life is, unfortunately, real,” Brock replied. “ Your marriage is real. Personally, I think the wedding sounds sketchy but basically, yeah, Alexander Pierce is your husband. The kids are real too. Do you understand how you got them?”

“I got them from you,” Nikolai said slowly. “But I have to pretend Alexander is their father. Or-”

“Or he'll hurt us,” Brock said. “He'll hurt _someone_. My ex or my other kids, maybe.”

“You have more kids?” 

“Yeah,” Brock said. “I got two girls. Lost custody though, my ex omega had a good lawyer. Pierce can find them any time he wants, and do whatever he wants to them if he starts questioning my loyalty.”

“He said he would take Alexei away if I didn't go on the boat trip with him,” Nikolai mumbled, pink faced with embarrassment. “Brock, I-I don't want to _be with him anymore_.”

“You want to leave him,”said Brock. “Like really divorce him.” 

“I know I don't have the right of divorce,” Nikolai said. He made an uncomfortable half shrug of his right shoulder. “But...” And he mumbled something about a monastery. 

“The fuck made you think you can't get a divorce?” Brock snapped. “I wouldn't be living in the SHIELD barracks right now if I coulda made my wife not leave me. You tell your partner you want out, one of you moves out, you have a lawyer send over the paperwork. You both sign it. Boom. You're free. It's not gonna be that easy with Pierce, 'cause he'd kill you first but you got the legal right.” 

“What?” Nikolai blinked at him. 

“Man, where have you _been_? What Stone Age lies has Pierce been feeding you?”

"Being punished," Nikolai admitted shakily. "Until I eliminate Tony Stark. The Chair isn't good for the baby, he has-he has other ways." Brock was well aware of the whole list of other options. He hadn't felt this helpless since he was a kid and his dad would come home drunk and angry. 

Before he could come up with any lame advice, or react to Nikolai's confession that Pierce had him killing again, the dark haired child who'd been playing under the Christmas tree padded in and toddled straight for Nikolai. He held his arms up. 

“Bedtime,” he said plaintively. Nikolai bent to scoop him up. They traded tired forehead and nose kisses. This must be Alexei, and Brock realized he was face to face with his own biological son. 

“Aww, sleepy puppy. Did you have your milk?” 

“Cindy makes it for me,” Alexei yawned. 

“That was very nice of her, did you say thanks?” Nikolai slowly began walking toward Alexei's bedroom. Brock followed just out of curiosity. Alexei nodded. 

“Uh huh Daddy.” Nikolai carried him to a blue and white, nautical themed bedroom. Brock lingered outside the door while the omega changed his child into a Pullup and baseball print pajamas, then tucked him in bed. 

“I want Sandy,” Alexei murmured. 

“Brock, can you grab Sandy for me?” Nickolai asked absently. “It's the uh, the stuffed dog.” 

Brock found a light brown spaniel on the bookshelf by the door and placed it Alexei's arms. The boy gave him a shy, thankful smile, nuzzling his cheek against the dog's fur. Nikolai tucked the covers under his chin, and kissed his forehead again. 

“Goodnight my special puppy. Santa will bring you lots of presents tonight.” Nikolai dimmed the lights, closed the door all but a crack and turned to head back to the party. Watching his lover and his baby, the decision seemed so much easier for Brock. 

“Nick-” Brock said, catching his arm lightly. “If you want to take Alexei and leave Pierce, I'll help you. Pack a Go bag for each of you and meet me at the train station at 2 pm on Friday.” 

Nikolai gave him one desperate hug before his face crumpled as he turned away. "Okay."


	12. Cause when you're afraid you lash out at me

“I wonder if I made a mistake,” Alexander said. “Letting you live a normal life. Letting you have opinions and interests. Giving you three years of continuous memory. You used to behave.”

Nikolai trembled. His wrist hurt from the metal handcuff digging into his skin. Alexander had been yelling at him for hours while keeping him on his knees and chained to a desk in the library. Alexander valued the baby Nikolai carried, so his options for punishment were limited, at the moment they were limited to withdrawal of affection, and increasing removal of privileges, little humiliations that made it clear to everyone, Nikolai was In Disgrace. It was almost worse than being hit in the face or caned on his legs, he was built to shrug off physical pain. 

“You'd better take care of Stark before you give birth. Because if you don't, the minute you're done, you're going in the Chair. I promise you that. I'll have you taken directly from the hospital.” 

“ _No! Please!_ ”

“You won't even remember your children when I'm finished. Maybe I'll put you back in the freezer for awhile, when you come back out they won't remember you either. You're being so ungrateful,after all I've done for you. After I gave you a home, a nice life, babies to love. And you just spit it all back in my face.” 

“Why are you doing this to me?” Nikolai begged. “I love you and I'll be good, just don't make me hurt my friends!”

“I'm trying to make the world a better place,”Alexander said. “I'm _trying to bring peace_. Stark is on the side of people who think everyone should be allowed to do whatever they want. No order, no responsibility, just chaos that they call freedom. Stark is a drunken maniac playing with bombs. Is that the world you want our children to live in? Because I don't. I'd never be able to live with myself if Alexei got _blown up by a terrorist_. Think about his little body lying bloody and broken in the street because America was victimized by some group we didn't have the power to stop.” 

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'll do it, I promise!” Nikolai moaned. He didn't know which way was up, he was so confused. Alexander was smarter than him, and he'd always been right about other things, everything he said made sense. If Tony and Pepper were his friends, why hadn't they contacted him once since the Florida vacation? And why had they tried so hard to pull him away from Alexander? Because they were working with the enemies of world peace? It was so hard to think,there was a fog creeping into his brain. He was lost, and groped for the only light he could see, which was Alexander. Alexander held him and petted his hair while he sobbed.

“Shhh, it's alright,darling. It's alright.”

He couldn't remember much after he'd gratefully accepted a drink of cold water from his alpha. He half remembered that they'd made love, and Alexander had been tender with him, but Nikolai had woken alone, in one of the guest bedrooms,where he'd been sleeping for a month. So maybe that had just been a very nice dream. There was no other sign that he'd been forgiven for his failures. His shoes had not been returned to him and the extra body guards were still hanging around. Nikolai took his seat at the table in the kitchen, where he was served eggs, toast, sausages, fruit and coffee. He could hear his husband and child talking as they ate the same thing in the dining room. It was lonely, and cold, the housekeeper was under instructions not to address him directly. 

Alexander strode in after the plates had been removed. Nikolai fell to his knees and pressed his cheek to Alexander's leg like a dog, hungry for affection. He didn't get any, but Alexander had softened a little. 

“I've decided to lighten your penalty,” Alexander said. “You can have two hours out of the house per day, with a driver and guards, to do your shopping, go to the gym and take Alexei to his appointments. I suggest you use any spare time to work on your mission. Stark will be in town for the president's New Year's ball, it's an excellent opportunity to prove I haven't put my faith in the wrong person.” He pushed Nikolai away and strode out again, ignoring Nikolai's pathetic murmured “thank you”. 

You were only supposed to take up an hour of computer time, and you had to wait your turn. But Nikolai was in the neighborhood library often enough that if no one else was waiting, he could stay on as long as he wanted. He took a computer terminal that faced away from the rest of the room, scanned his library card and brought up an internet browser. He went to Hotmail.com and signed in. He only had one message. 

To petrushka25@hotmail.com  
From ayeayecaptain@hotmail.com

You missed the rendezvous. Send me a sign that you're okay. 

B. 

From petrushka25@hotmail.com  
To ayeayecaptain@hotmail.com

I could not get away. Please don't be angry. Didn't change mind. Am scared and confused. 

Love Nick.  
(he nervously hit “send”, hoping it wasn't a mistake, signing off with “love”)

To petrushka25@hotmail.com  
From ayeayecaptain@hotmail.com

Why the fuck would I be angry? I didn't think it'd be easy to escape the warden. Don't be scared, it's going to all be okay. We'll try again, same time, same place, but on Tuesday, okay?

I love you,  
Brock.

 

Maybe it was the hormones, but Nikolai wanted to cry again. Brock had said he _loved him_. He'd written it down in an internet letter. He was risking everything to help Nikolai defy Alexander , and it was more dangerous for Brock, Nikolai was a valuable object, Brock would be killed without a second thought for betraying Hydra. No one had ever risked their life for him just because he was loved by them. 

“Are you okay?” the reference librarian asked. She handed him a stack of tissues. 

“Yes, I'm just pregnant and happy,” Nikolai explained. “Really happy for the first time. I'm going to be with my baby's father.” 

He spent the next three days getting ready. He packed two bags with snacks and a couple changes of clothing and a towel for each of them. He bought a pair of cheap knitted caps to disguise their hair, and on the guise of needing embarrassing hygiene products, he was able to pick up a prepaid debit card at the drug store, which he loaded with what was left of his allowance for the month (after all, he hadn't been allowed out to spend most of it). He knew where the housekeeper kept her strong sleeping pills, and after Alexander left for the office on December 30th, Nikolai put the last part of his plan into action. 

None of the bodyguards or staff suspected he might doctor their drinks at lunch. And everyone thought the trophy wife was too stupid to know how to put the NannyCam video on a loop so no one monitoring it could tell he'd fled the building. 

“Time for school?” Alexei asked, obediently holding out his hands so Nikolai could help him with his mittens. 

“No school this week, it's vacation,” Nikolai said. He slid a backpack over the boy's shoulders. “We're going on a trip.”

“To Florida?' Alexei asked in the elevator. 

“Nope.”

“To Virginia Beach?” he asked as they apprehensively boarded a city bus that took them to the train station. They'd never ridden one before. Nikolai had done...other things to city buses but never ridden inside one. Alexander didn't allow him to use public transportation. It was dirty, and a major security risk. But it was part of Brock's plan, the instructions he'd been emailed at the library. 

“Nope. Guess again, puppy.”

“Amnplapolis?” 

“Nope!” Nikolai laughed. “Not _Annapolis_.” 

“I don't know!” Alexei said and threw up his arms. “I never been anywhere. Is it a base?”

“Nope, we're not even going to a base this time.”

Brock was there, waiting for them at the station, with three tickets to New York City. He'd offered to take them anywhere in the world they wanted to go, but New York was massive, and probably easy to get lost in, yet close enough to get to quickly. They could run to Montreal once they had new passports. He felt a stab of panic, like the ground had fallen out from underneath them, when they boarded the train and found the section for people going to New York. His flesh hand slipped on the railing. Brock turned back from hefting their bags up on the luggage rack just in time to catch him before he collapsed. 

“Shh,” Brock said, rubbing his arm. “It'll all work out. Relax, babe. Sit right here. There's a water cooler up front, I'll get you some.” His gentle and protective attitude towards his pregnant omega clearly earned him a lot of points with the people sitting around them, everyone smiled sympathetically. After he took a few deep breathes, and drank his water, Nikolai was able to calm down, and the rest of the trip was peaceful. Peaceful, but not particularly quiet. 

“Daddy, are we running away?” Alexei asked. 

“Of course not,” Nikolai responded absently. “We're not running anywhere, we're on a train. We're going to be with your father.”

“Daddy, where are we now?” 

“A place called New Jersey.” Nikolai gave him a granola bar in hopes he'd stop talking. Alexei put his ear against Nikolai's stomach. 

“Is the baby asleep?”

“Yes,” Nikolai said. “Babies love to sleep on trains. Shhh. We don't want to wake her up.” 

“Her?” Brock mouthed at him. Nikolai shrugged. It might be nice to have a daughter. Dolls and ballet. Pretty curls to brush. In his own head, he'd dared to start thinking of the baby as “Rebecca”. He didn't know why, but it was a good name. Feminine but strong. Ancient but not dated. He must have known and liked a Rebecca once.

Arriving at Penn Station, Brock took hold of the luggage and was careful not to let Nikolai get jostled by the crowd exiting the trains. Nikolai felt warm all over with Brock's arm curled protectively around his stomach. Nikolai gripped Alexei's hand tightly, terrified that he would be lost. He had to be imagining that he was seeing men and women in black tactical uniforms wandering the crowd. They were safe, the trip had taken two hours and forty five minutes. They'd only just be starting to chase him down and they'd search DC first. But...he had spies _everywhere_. What if they were being watched in ways they hadn't even thought of? What if Alexander was too powerful to escape? 

“Hey,” Brock said, snapping him out of his anxious thoughts. “Got some sandwiches. Iced tea for you, coffee for me, milk for the kid.” Nikolai gave him a grateful kiss on the cheek. The sandwiches were grilled cheese and bacon, which he dug into hungrily (he no longer waited for permission when he ate with Brock) while Brock explained the next phase of the plan. “I got us a mid priced hotel room for a week while I make contact with a cobbler. I'm also gonna pick up hair dye and scent blockers right after we leave here so you're not cooped up in the room for days. We need to start looking different fast, as soon as he realizes we're gone he might put an Amber Alert out on Alexei.” 

“We're not breaking the law,” Nikolai said. “I can take my own son on a trip without permission. I _can_. I _read about it_.” Not that the letter of the law would stop someone who commanded armies, spy agencies and a fleet of helicarriers that could find anyone on earth. 

“He'll say I took you both. I'm the one with no rights here,” Brock said. “And you're a helpless, easily confused omega.” 

“I can kick your ass.” Nikolai made a disgruntled face, but he was secretly thrilled that he could sass Brock and usually nothing would happen. Because maybe that's how it worked when you were your lover's friend,not their pet or toy. 

Brock checked his watch. 

“You guys done? We better get moving. They got taxis out front.” 

“Will you hold him while I go to the bathroom?” Nikolai asked. He placed Alexei in Brock's arms without waiting for a response, even though Brock looked about to protest. He turned toward the sign for the restrooms. Nikolai felt it then, a pinprick sensation in his right shoulder. He crumpled toward the ground as his vision darkened and he heard Brock yelling his name. Alexei sobbed and called for him. 

“NICKY!” Brock shouted. He watched his omega fall, the tranquilizer dart so small no civilian would've seen it. It was too late to run, and he was outnumbered, surrounded by a six person STRIKE team in a public place full of civilians. There would be police officers, maybe building security guards too, in the area on regular duty, who wouldn't hesitate to step in and help the government agents. Someone was calling an ambulance, someone else ripped Alexei from his arms. He threw up his hands, waiting to be told to get on the ground, waiting to be handcuffed. Local police swooped in and took him into custody on kidnapping charges. After the fake Hydra ambulance arrived (suspiciously soon, it must've been waiting around the block) and Nikolai was loaded in, the STRIKE team just disappeared as if they'd never been there. 

It was over in less than five minutes. 


	13. and you say all the things that you never meant to say

Nikolai didn't know how long he'd been in the guest room. There was no clock openly displayed. There was a cuff around his ankle, attached to a chain attached to the bedpost. It was long enough for him to reach the adjoining bathroom, Someone had left a tray with chicken soup and a bagel with cream cheese, and a bottle of mineral water. He knew the guest room had a television, hidden behind a cherrywood panel in the entertainment center. They'd also left him a handful of fashion magazines and cheap romance novels. He lay on the bed, drifting in and out of sleep, reading articles about Brangelina. 

The door opened and Alexander crossed the plush carpet toward him. Nikolai cringed away, ducking his head and trying to make himself small. Alexander was smiling,and he didn't seem the slightest bit angry. Sometimes that meant things were going to get even worse. 

“How are you feeling, sweetheart?” Alexander asked. “Getting enough to eat? Are you warm enough? They forgot to put your neonatal vitamins on the tray. Here you go, I want our little boy or girl to come out as healthy as possible. And I know your feet are swollen and they must hurt, so I picked up some new slippers for you.”

“How long have I-?” Nikolai ventured. He dutifully swallowed the pills, chasing them with some water. 

“Only a few hours,” Alexander said. 

“Alexei?”

“He's fine,” Alexander said. “He's having a playdate with a couple of his little friends.” 

“And Agent Rumlow?” Nikolai asked. 

“You don't need to be afraid, he won't hurt you again. I can't believe, after all these years, that he was carrying such a disturbing torch for you. He always seemed the most level headed of our agents. There was no agent I trusted more, it's one of the reasons I chose him to help us conceive. It's a shame it had to end this way.”

Nikolai wondered if that was all code for 'we put his body in a garbage bag and tossed it the river'. If he was still alive and not locked in one of the secret retraining rooms, then his name was now on the Insight list. He should give Brock up for dead now, and accept he had no allies left. Except the one he was supposed to kill. 

“How did you know?” Nikolai whispered. “You were watching us?”

“Yes. I've know for weeks that you were being unfaithful with Rumlow. I figured he'd convince you to run. This was a test, a test you both _failed_ ,” Alexander said. “The disappointment I'm feeling right now, Nikolai... You've badly hurt me.”

“The librarian...who was so nice to me...” Nothing in his life was real, and everyone was lying to him. He was heartsick at the realization. It sapped his will to fight, he wanted the soft haze of the drugs they gave him when he went into cryo. He'd never wanted to hurt Alexander, he'd only wanted to be able to breathe, and explore his feelings for Brock. Like a human. 

“Hydra. Of course.” Alexander patted his knee. “Nikolai, darling, I want to apologize. This is all my fault. You had an affair, you tried to run from me, all because I haven't been very nice to you lately. Loneliness, frustration, neglect, they drove you into the arms of a man who took advantage of your generous heart. Well, I won't let that happen again. You had better believe I'm going to start paying more attention.”

 _No_ ,Nikolai thought desperately. _No .Leave me alone. Let me go. Please_. But he'd already gotten one person killed because he'd tried to leave. 

“Now, rest up,” Alexander said, tucking the comforter around him. “You're going to a ball, Cinderella.”

“You kidnapped an omega and his child and took them across multiple state lines, which made it a federal case, which is why the NYPD turned you over to us.” Brock was back in DC, in FBI custody, being interrogated by a typical G-Man in a typical claustrophobic interrogation room (but at least it was nicer than the one at the NYPD). Brock had been there for hours, subsisting on bad coffee occasionally offered. 

“I didn't kidnap nobody,” Brock snapped. “Nikolai's _miserable_ with that creep.” 

“SHIELD agents are not above the law, nor do they have the right to take the law into their own hands,” the agent said. "It doesn't matter what you think he felt. The law isn't interested in your motivation. 

“He wanted to come with me. He begged me.” Brock glared down at his hands, cuffed together in front of him on the table. 

“Come on,” the agent scoffed, tapping the case folder. “The report Secretary Pierce filed says his omega has brain damage, memory problems and he's an immigrant. He said the boy is easily led and confused. He wants us to throw the book at you.”

“You gonna?” Brock asked. He knew he needed to ask for his lawyer, but he wasn't sure how much he wanted to drag other people into this difficult to explain situation, creating another target for Pierce.

“Luckily for you, no one got seriously hurt and you didn't get far. " The agent stood up and unlocked Brock's handcuffs. "Luckily for you, in spite of the new rules, we still don't answer to Alexander Pierce. Luckily for you, we don't get off on the military and the “State Department” telling us who to arrest. Those helicarriers are fucking up the whole system, ruining cases we've been working on for years, replacing our skilled officers who spent years training, with a computer that zaps people from the sky. Because it's a he said/she said situation here, we're willing to plead this out. Cop to Transporting a Minor Across State Lines Without Parental Consent and Misuse of a Vulnerable Omega and we'll see about getting you bailed out by the end of the day. ” 

Brock knew it wouldn't help his case to argue that he'd _had_ consent from Alexei's parent. Omega rights had come a long way but an alpha mate's decision still carried more weight, and when you were talking about someone as powerful as Pierce, it was practically law. 

Still, he agreed to plead guilty on those two charges. He had a cousin who was a bail bondsman, he put up his car as collateral and he was out by one in the afternoon, with a trial date set for a week later. He figured he didn't need to worry about losing the case and going to prison, he wouldn't live that long if Pierce had anything to say about it. He might be dead by midnight, so first he was going to make it up to his family, and then he was going to see a priest. Scrub his soul clean before the end. At least he'd had a second chance at love before checking out, and maybe the fact that he'd tried to do the right thing would count in his favor. 

Stepping out into the cold, Brock turned his phone back on, pulled up his ex wife's number and hit send.

“Hey, it's Brock.”

“Yeah, what do you want?” She sounded even more angry with him than usual. “I been looking for you, asshole.”

“I was just wondering if Theresa and Lily were alright? And if I could come over and see them,” Brock said. He had to make sure, everyone he loved was in danger now that he'd betrayed Pierce. 

“Whadda you mean 'can I see the girls'? Aren't they with you? Lemme tell you, I was pissed about that, by the way. You can't just take them out of school whenever you-”

“Hey, wait, what? Stace, I've been in New York since yesterday,” Brock protested. He sidestepped a lady with a stroller and a dog walker with six beagles. “I just got back in town like, four a.m today. The girls aren't with me.”

“Well, their school called and wanted to confirm that it was okay that 'their father' had arranged for a pickup in the middle of the friggin' day. Some clown in a car with government plates.”

“And you didn't think that was suspicious?” He felt a sick twist of fear, and fear was something he rarely felt anymore. 

“ I thought it was more of your weird secret agent crap. But I did call you like twelve times and you never picked up once.” 

His phone had been in a manilla envelope with all his other personal affects, behind bullet proof glass at the police station. 

“Look, I'm sorry I was incommunicado,” Brock said, “But I wouldn't do that to you. I would never take the girls somewhere without telling you. If it was an emergency, I'd send you a coded message. But don't freak out, I think I know what happened and I'm gonna fix it. You just stay put- load the gun, there's more stuff upstairs in the back of the closet, in an old guitar case. Deadbolt the doors, don't open them for anyone except me. Not even the cops unless you personally called 911.”

“Got it,” she said. 

After he hung up, he checked his other messages. There were nine texts, calls and emails from Stacy,and one video emailed to him from Hydra's private server.

Brock had dedicated most of his life to Hydra. He'd never expected to find himself so used and betrayed. He hadn't been this full of rage in years, not since he'd been wailed on by his dad for the last time and he'd been finally big enough to fight back. He no longer owed Pierce or Hydra any loyalty and if Pierce wanted to fight dirty, Brock would fight _filthy_.

Brock scrolled through his contacts again, pulling up a number he'd stored there months ago for Nicky's benefit. No point in having Iron Man's personal phone number if you weren't going to use it.


	14. and try to break me

“Tony Stark?”  
“That's me, better be important.”  
“It's Brock Rumlow. Miami with Nikolai Pierce. The bad clams.”

“Oh, right. The double agent who betrayed Cap to Hydra. What can you possibly have to say that I wanna hear?”

“I know where the Winter Soldier is and I wanna help take Pierce down. I'm ready to come in.”

“For a deal, I bet. A Get Out of Jail Free card for the info.”

“Well, fuck, duh, bro. Of course.” 

“Fine. I'm in Room 314 at the Ritz, come now, alone and unarmed or the deal's off. Cap might throw you through a window, I might not stop him.” 

“So uh, here's the thing,” Brock began as he sat awkwardly in an armchair in Tony Stark's hotel suite, surrounded by angry Avengers with weapons trained on him. “The Winter Soldier wanted to leave. Not sure if he wanted out of Hydra, I'm not sure he's um-capable of – anyway, he told me he wanted to get away from Pierce and if you leave one you have to leave both. So I tried to help him escape. Pierce found out, I dunno how, and Hydra caught up with us at a train station in New York. They dragged Nikolai back, and I spent the night in police and FBI custody on kidnapping charges. I'm out on bail 'cause US federal law enforcement is in total chaos cause of Insight. And I think Pierce figured they'd let me go. He had a backup plan, he always does. And he put it in motion while I was distracted trying to get out of jail.” 

“Why would he need you distracted?” Agent Romanov asked. “And why do you suddenly want to help the Winter Soldier escape Hydra? Last time I checked, no one was more loyal to Hydra's cause than you.”

“Well, here's the part where I explain why I came to you guys. Pierce has all four of my kids.”

“I thought you only had two?” Captain Rogers remained entirely unimpressed with him, he actually seemed angrier than ever. 

“It's been awhile, Rogers, I have four. Well, three and a half, Nikolai's pregnant.” He slowly told them everything he knew and had done. Then, he showed them the videos Hydra emailed to his phone, the first one of a little girl crying, and the second one of a teenage girl tied up on a bed, with the front of her school uniform blouse ripped open, while a male voice taunted her with stories about what her captors were going to do to her. 

“I'm going to have a drink,”Stark said when he'd finished. “Just one, okay,nobody freak out, but it's going to be a strong one.” 

“I knew you two were having some sort of affair,” Romanov said. “I've been watching you for weeks. And I'd say this reaction was out of proportion for Pierce but if being with you was really helping Bucky start to think for himself enough to try to run away, he's more than just a jealous husband. Pierce can't let his most powerful weapon fall into the wrong hands.” 

“Bucky's not a weapon!” Captain Rogers snarled. He stood, and stormed off to the bathroom down at the end of the hall, where he slammed the door. The whole room shook. 

Sam knocked on the door a few minutes later and Steve let him in reluctantly. 

“I know things seem ugly,” Sam said, “But we have two things we didn't before, the full story and a Hydra insider.”

“It's just-” Steve gripped the edge of the sink hard, leaning on his arms. “I wanted those kids to be mine. I've wanted that since me and Bucky first decided we were gonna mate. And then he goes and has two with the man who stood by and let Hydra abuse him for years. I know Bucky doesn't remember me, he doesn't know his life is any different than what Hydra told him so I have no right to expect anything. But how do I know Rumlow didn't...didn't _force him_? Rumlow says it was Pierce's idea but what if he's lying? All he's done since I've known him is lie to me.”

“ We can deal with Rumlow later,” Sam said. “ None of this is Bucky's fault though. What Pierce did to him is called-”

“Marital rape, yes, I know. I know the laws have changed, and that it was wrong even when it was legal and Pierce knows that too. ”

“Well, that too,” Sam said, “but I was going to say rape by fraud. I know you guys had that one back in the old days. According to Rumlow, Bucky barely remembers his own wedding and isn't clear on...how or why, he ended up with Pierce. Everyone tells him he loves the guy, so he decides he must. It's like that Goldie Hawn movie where she falls off the boat, only with more death and destruction. He's been telling Bucky things that are blatantly not true, so Bucky will come to him willingly. He manufactured a whole new identity for Bucky to shore up the fantasy.”

“Bucky's in danger now because Pierce is losing control over him,” Steve observed. 

“Typical abuser pattern, battered partners are most likely to be injured or killed when they try to leave. Rumlow says Pierce won't hurt the baby,so he's hurting other people to make Bucky behave.”

“He's his alpha, he was supposed to protect Bucky. All I ever wanted – Why can't I- When am _I_ gonna get an omega as amazing as the guy Pierce tortures for fun? What did I do wrong that I can't have Bucky for my own? And then I think, Bucky needs my help, not my jealousy.” Steve felt Sam's arm rubbing soothingly up and down his spine. He hadn't felt the touch of an omega in such a long time, he automatically leaned into it. Sam was sending out waves of calming scent. Must be one way he was such a good therapist. 

“Maybe Pierce thinks he _is_ protecting Bucky,” Sam said. “But Bucky's an autonomous human being, not a prize to fight over. If he's genuinely, consensually happy with that weasel Rumlow, we have to respect that.”

“I know,” Steve sighed. “I know. But I won't really believe it until I see proof from Bucky.”

"Well, the only way to fix this is to get back out there and work with Rumlow on a strategy. We don't have a lot of time left."

Lily Rumlow had been sitting in the nursery for hours. Sitting on a day bed, waiting for someone to let her go home to Mommy. There was nothing to do and almost no one ever came in to talk to her. All the toys were for babies, and they didn't even have any dolls. Lily liked to play with baby dolls the most, at home she had a Corolle doll her Daddy had brought back from a government trip to France. The books were all easy picture books like _Blueberries for Sal_ and _Pat the Bunny_. The room was clean, and perfect, like a catalog, she probably wasn't supposed to touch anything, anyway. But she was bored, and she had been scared ever since those men came in and took Tracy away, and that lady had come in with a camera and said things that made her cry, while they filmed it. Things like “Daddy's not coming for you, you were a bad girl and he doesn't love you anymore.” Lily knew that couldn't be true, even when Mommy and Daddy split up, Daddy had promised he'd never stop loving her. He sent her cards, and gifts, and Skyped with her all the time. So he must be hurt somewhere, but why would they lie to her and make her cry?

A boy omega who was also a grownup came in after a few hours. He was _really pretty_ , like a model, and he was having a baby. He moved funny, because he was barefoot and had a heavy metal cuff around his ankle. 

“Are you hungry, honey?” He asked. 

“Yes,” Lily sniffled. He hugged her, he smelled like candy and Christmas. He took her hand gently. 

“Come on, we're making cookies in the kitchen.” In the expensive looking kitchen, an old lady omega was taking trays of chocolate chip cookies out of the oven. The cookies were hot and gooey, she got a big glass of cold milk to wash them down with. The boy omega chatted with her while they ate, asking her about her favorite toys, and tv shows and all about Mommy. And then when she had eaten _a lot_ of cookies, he said 

“We have a special job for you. Only you can do it. And it's very important, it could save the world.”  
Then he knelt down and whispered in her ear, “If you don't help us, the men who took your sister away earlier are going to hurt her. Do you understand what I'm saying? ”

They made her take a bath. It wasn't so bad, the tub was big, and fancy. They had bubble baths, even one that left gold sparkles all over her skin. After she dried off with fluffy towels, she put on the silky tights, brand new underpants and satin slip they had left out for her. That boy omega came back, this time he wore a maternity tuxedo and he had his long dark hair tied up in a red ribbon. He did her hair up with jeweled pins. Not as nice as Mommy could do, but good. Then he made her stand in the middle of the room with her arms out while he taped a black box to her stomach. It looked like a battery recharger, with blinking red lights. He gave her a dress to put on over it, a gown with silver on top and a pink ruffled skirt. 

“You look so beautiful,” he said with a smile that wavered because of the tears in his eyes. “Just like a fairy princess. Now, Lily, we're going to a party with a lot of famous people. Have you ever wanted to meet Iron Man?”


	15. But in the end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got so stuck on this part, and finally I said "Oh, screw it, let's go crazy, let's get nuts."

“Look, I gotta be honest,” Rogers said. “I don't like this thing between you and Bucky.” He sat there in costume, strapping on his gauntlets, all big powerful alpha wet dream come true. Like he just assumed he'd get Nikolai if Nikolai was in the room. Brock hated Steve Rogers so much, the arrogant blond prickface. He happened to hate Pierce more, that was all. 

“Too bad he's a grown ass man who doesn't have to answer to you,” Brock said. He slid a clip of bullets in the chamber of his gun. He was penned in on either side of the car, Rogers on one side, Agent Romanov on the other. Romanov was wearing a black sparkly evening gown., elbow length satin gloves and short fur jacket. She also wore an ear length blonde wig.

“If you hurt Bucky...” Rogers started to say. 

“He's not your damn dead friend,” Brock snapped. 

“He is,” Rogers retorted like a petulant little brat. “You just can't deal with it, it makes things so much worse than you thought.”

“He's having a hard enough time dealing with what he remembers about being Nikolai Karpov, who has a sad enough backstory,” Brock said. “You really think he can handle learning he was born like ninety years ago and went missing during World War Two?” 

“Or maybe you don't want Bucky finding out the whole truth because he'll hate you.” 

“What truth? It doesn't matter, because he's not Bucky Barnes!” It was the last thing Brock had to hold on to, the belief that Hydra may have lied to him but they hadn't lied about that. Even though he had the queasy, sinking feeling Rogers was right. The entire Winter Soldier thing had been fishy from the start, everyone agreed about that. A guy with no name, who had to wear goggles and a muzzle on missions, who wasn't allowed to socialize with the team, controlled with taser sticks and beatings (when other team members were disciplined with pay docking and suspensions). Rumored to exist for decades longer than any normal agent would've remained active. The Chair. The cryo tank. It was suddenly nauseating, how much Brock had quietly excused, ignored and tried to justify. And with what he knew Hydra was capable of, physically and morally, bringing Bucky Barnes back and forcing him to act as their murder robot-slash-slave was definitely in their wheelhouse. But if it was true, it not only meant that the man he'd fallen in love with was the Captain's omega but that Nikolai Pierce didn't technically exist. Brock had believed Nikolai was opening up to him, part of falling in love had been spurred on by getting to know the guy in a way no one else had. He didn't act like the Bucky Barnes Brock had read about and heard all those stories about, but if he was, then the man Brock had fallen desperately in love with, risked his career, his family and his life for, was a personality designed by and for, Alexander Pierce. If Bucky Barnes belonged to Rogers, and Nikolai was built for Pierce, who was the guy Brock was having a kid with?

He didn't intend to let either of them have Nikolai now, but it definitely put a new and ugly wrinkle in the plan. 

He glared out the window as Stark's limo pulled through the gates of the White House. 

"Stop it, boys," Romanov said. "Me, Tony and Pepper will go inside and mingle, you two wait on our signals, stop Pierce and Bucky from leaving the event. Got it?"

The boy omega gave Lily a coat to match her new party dress, and a purse with a brand new cellphone in it. Everyone kept telling her not to turn the phone on until she met Iron Man. Then everyone went outside in the cold and dark, and got in a limousine. Lily tried to remember what the house and neighborhood looked like, so she could tell Mommy or Daddy where to pick her up later. Or a policeman if anyone got hurt. 

“Do you want a drink?” the boy omega asked. “Water? Soda? Juice? I think tonight is special and you deserve a treat, your Mommy won't mind if you have a soda.”

“Yes, please.”

He opened a mini fridge, took out a bottle of a fancy soda brand and poured it in in a glass with a gold band around the edge. 

“Well, that's not very healthy.” A man with blond hair going gray got in and sat across from her. He was an alpha, he smelled so strong he didn't leave room for anyone else's smells. 

“It can't hurt her at this point,” the boy omega mumbled. His body language changed, he tried to make himself seem smaller. It was Daddy's boss. That old man. Not the black man who died on the news, the other one. “Mr. Secretary”. Sometimes Daddy and Mommy called him Pierce, but Lily wasn't sure if that was his first name or his last name. 

“Daddy works for you,” she said. He made her feel like a mouse being stared at by a cat. No, like a _bug_. Like she didn't matter enough to hunt. 

“Yes. And he's in danger and he needs your help. Only you can do it,” Mr. Pierce said. The boy omega buckled her into a seatbelt. The limo took them through the city, Lily watched the lights as they drove.The car pulled through a pair of big gates, Lily saw the White House glowing across a dark lawn. Inside the fanciest room she'd ever seen, it was all bright lights and music, grownups in party clothes laughing over champagne. There were silver balloons everywhere, and a huge tv screen with the sound off, showing New Years Eve in Time Square. 

"Do you want me to get you a plate of food?" the boy omega asked gently. "You should try some of this fancy stuff, you might not get- you might not get another chance."

"Please stop trying to feed me," Lily said. "I'm too nervous to eat." 

"I'm sorry, " he said. He hovered anxiously around her. It went on for several minutes and became _very annoying_ , until he heard something in his ear piece. "Yes, I'll send her over. Lily, honey,it's time to for your special mission.Please, listen to me. Here's what you're supposed to do..."

Tony was enjoying caviar on toast and making dignitaries uncomfortable. 

"I told the board, wouldn't it be fun if Stark Industries branched out into environmentally friendly sex toys? We could bring back that slogan from like, the 60s, 'Stop the World, I Wanna Get Off."

"He's kidding," Pepper interjected hurriedly. "So, so _kidding_. Hah ha!"

"Looks like you got a fan," Senator Stern observed. "Rare sight these days, Stark."

A dark haired little girl approached him across the middle of the ballroom. She wore a pink and silver dress, and it only took a moment for him to place her face. The first girl from that video Rumlow had shown them. She just stood there and stared at him blankly, frozen in fear.

“Hey, kiddo. Yup, it really is me. You want a selfie with Iron Man?”

She nodded stiffly, and retrieved a cell phone from her little beaded purse. Pepper reached for it. Tony assumed the child was there to deliver a ransom note or manifesto from the kidnappers, but Pierce was probably watching, there had to be another catch. Otherwise, why did Pierce trust they wouldn't just grab the kid and run? Time seemed to slow as Pepper's fingers almost closed around the phone. 

“NO!”Tony heard a young man shout. “Everybody get back!” Nikolai pushed through the crowd, he ran over to the girl and fell to his knees, hugging her tightly. The confused and frightened child started to cry. Nikolai took the phone away from her, he handed it to Pepper. 

“It's a detonator,” he said. “She's rigged to blow up everything within thirty or forty feet.” The other nearby guests hurriedly got as far away as they could. There'd already be law enforcement on the way, and the Secret Service were approaching through the crowd. Only Nikolai and the girl remained in the middle of the floor.

“Nikolai!” Pierce said sharply “Get over here.” 

“If you want to use her to hurt people, you'll have to hurt the baby too!” 

“I have no idea what you're talking about. You're having another episode. That little girl needs to talk to the police,this isn't for us to deal with. Come.HERE **NOW**.” He'd perfected his Alpha Voice and Presence so much that several other omegas in the room whined, trembled and ducked their heads. Nikolai stood with the girl in his arms, and he went with Pierce, his posture and mannerisms broadcasting “whipped dog” to the entire room. 

“Hey!” Tony said. “HEY!” And he hurried after them. Pierce, Nikolai,the girl and their body guards were headed towards the small helicopter waiting for takeoff on the South Lawn. The ballroom had erupted into chaos behind them. 

"You stupid little whore," Pierce snapped at Nikolai . "You fucked everything up, I should have kept you chained up tonight instead of letting you come with me. And you, Stark, get in the chopper or one of these nice men who work for me will shoot you. I doubt you brought your armor."

Two Secret Service agent vehicles caught up with them by the time they arrived. There were other, non Secret Service passengers, a small blonde woman, and...and...the big blond man who'd bothered Nikolai in the supermarket. His memory wasn't good, and that had been months ago, why did he remember this man so clearly? And _why was he wearing a costume_? And Brock! Alive and unhurt! Brock had come for him!

“Sir! You don't have permission to land an aircraft here!” One of the Secret Service men yelled over the noise of the helicopter blades. 

“It's a DoD emergency,” Alexander said in the same commanding tone he'd used in the ballroom. 

“National security,”Tony mumbled, he looked like he was about to throw up. They were barely inside before the helicopter lifted off. It shook as it rose, as if there was something trying to tug it back down. 

“You don't need to do this,” Tony said.

“You have no understanding of what I need to do,” Alexander replied. “You have no idea how important your tragic, untimely death is to the cause of world peace.”

“But I don't wanna die for world peace,” Tony said. “I wanna live for... me peace. You can't just kill people because having free will means they might do something bad. People can change. I did. I used to be the Merchant of Death, now I try to build things up instead of destroying them. Nikolai, _you_ can change. You can be better. The Avengers can help you.”

“You told me he sold bombs.” Nikolai frowned at Alexander, tipping his head to the right quizzically. “You lied to me, Alexander. Why?”

“It's complicated, darling, you wouldn't understand,” Alexander said. The helicopter shook again. 

“No,” Nikolai said. His anger started to burn in his chest, first a little ember and then a bonfire. “I think I _do_. What else do you lie about? To make me think I'm helping, to keep me from leaving or-or- making friends?” 

He heard clanging, something thumped against the chopper's outside just before Brock hauled himself on board, followed by the man from the supermarket. They must have been clinging to the underside. Nikolai was elated, but fought to keep the expression off his face, Alexander would hurt Brock if he thought Nikolai was happy to see him. 

 

“Daddy!” Lily threw herself in his arms. “Daddy! I got in the car because I thought you were in trouble but then they wouldn't let me leave and then _Mr. Pierce put a bomb on me and I knew you would come because I'M NOT A BAD GIRL!_

“Daddy's gonna fix this,” Brock said, he shot a look at Pierce that was thundering with the intent to murder. He pulled out his gun and cocked it. “I need you to stand behind me and block your ears and close your eyes.”

“We're not going to murder him, Rumlow,” Supermarket Man said. 

“ _You're_ not going to murder him,” Brock corrected. “All you have to do is tell the cops it was self defense, because it is. He tried to kill my kids.” 

“You should-you should listen to Supermarket Man,” Nikolai said. He was so confused. 

“When are you going to stop letting him bully you?” Brock demanded just as Supermarket Man said 

“Uh, my name's not Supermarket Man, it's Steve. Steve Rogers.”

“Okay,” Nikolai said. That didn't explain the American Flag costume. “But she's still wearing the bomb. If I can unzip your dress I can help you take the bomb off, is that okay, Lily?” She nodded. "You can stand behind the chair if you want." Nikolai carefully removed the bomb, and handed it to Tony who placed it on the co pilot's seat. 

“Oh my god, what the fuck?” The pilot said. “Is that a real bomb?”

“Lucky for me,” Pierce said with a shark's grin, “I always have a second detonator. If you insist on heroics, Agent Rumlow, know that you can only save one of your daughters.” Pierce took out his phone and pressed a few keys. “Hello. Yes, Brock Rumlow has made his choice. He chose to save the little one. The big one's all yours.” He ended the call and turned to them with a bright politician's smile. “Now, I do have three parachutes.”

“But there are six of us,” Tony said. 

“Isn't that a shame, “ said Pierce. “Sound government and leadership always requires the hard choices.” 

“What about the pilot?” Steve demanded. “There are _seven_ people on board.” 

“What about him?” Pierce replied, shrugging. “Rumlow, if you come with me now, there's a possibility I won't kill you when we touch ground. After all, you were only behaving the way I taught you. Nikolai, you WILL come with me. Leave Rogers and Stark, what have they ever done for you?”

In a show of white hot rage, Steve's fist shot out and cracked against the side of Pierce's head. Pierce dropped to the floor unconscious. Steve yanked Pierce's parachute off, strapping it on himself. 

“Hey!” Tony protested. 

“I'm too heavy,” Steve explained. “You wouldn't be able to hold me up.” Steve grabbed him around the waist and leaped from the helicopter. They could hear Tony yelling and swearing as he fell through the air. 

“Come on, Nick,” Brock said, tossing him a shoot as he guiltily started to move towards his unconscious husband. “Forget about Pierce, we gotta go!” Hugging his daughter to his chest, he pulled Nikolai by the arm, taking a leap from the aircraft. 

Steve and Tony were the first to land, it was difficult in the dark but Steve managed to steer them into water without hitting any rocks. Tony was shoving him away as soon as he was able to spit out the Potomac from his lungs. 

“Ugh, public water.”

“Tony, don't _start_ ,” Steve grumbled. A hundred feet away, there was another set of splashes. 

“Daddy!” Lily sobbed. 

“I got you, baby, I got you,” Rumlow soothed. Rumlow, Lily and Bucky joined them shortly at the spot Steve had staked out on the beach. Steve was trying to get a fire started using sticks while Tony constructed a crude shelter from the parachutes and a few tree branches. 

“Aren't you two the perfect domestic team,” Rumlow said. 

“I'm married,” Tony said.

“Not even if you paid me,” said Steve. 

“Probably some supplies in the helicopter,” Tony said. “Probably warmer in there too but I don't know about you guys, I'm not spending the night next to a dead guy. I'll go check it out though.” No one disagreed, it was obvious Tony was the only choice to go, they couldn't send the kid and nobody wanted Rumlow away from their sight line. He returned about a half hour later with a pile of blankets, the pilot's warm winter jacket, a First Aid kit, and a handful of granola bars. The two alphas and the non pregnant omega silently agreed that the lion's share of food and blankets should go to Bucky and Lily. 

“The radio working?” Steve asked.

“Yeah I sent out a call for help. And check this out, I took Pierce's cell phone. I wonder how many of his contacts are Hydra? I could call the last person _he_ called and tell them their boss is dead and it's over. I know, I know, Captain Frowny Face, calling for help first.” 

When Tony wandered away to get a signal, Steve almost wished he'd come back. Because now he was alone, watching Rumlow, Bucky and Lily curled up together, talking softly by the fire and sharing food like the family they were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Man Lands Stolen Helicopter on White House Lawn](http://mentalfloss.com/article/61725/day-history-man-lands-stolen-helicopter-white-house-lawn)


	16. What leaves you broken

Maria Hill and Natasha found Theresa Rumlow chained up in the abandoned bank vault Brock Rumlow had told them Bucky's mind wipes took place in. She had been filthy, half naked and crying, reeking of terrified alpha but she had also bitten a chunk out of one of her captor's legs. Getting a DNA match would be no problem, especially since her attackers were likely government employees and therefore in a database somewhere. Her mom rushed to meet the ambulance at the hospital and wouldn't stop hugging her daughter. 

Sam Wilson flew all night up and down the river until he found the crash site. He found them by scenting the air for Steve, landing at the makeshift camp at dawn, before half the Federal and city agencies in D.C swarmed the area. Sam threw his arms around Steve and wouldn't let go. Steve realized he didn't mind. At all. 

Tony told them to “get a room”. Steve told him to shut up, blushing furiously. 

Brock went home with his ex and daughters, just for a couple of nights, to help them feel safe again. When he was finally satisfied that they were really okay, and when Lily no longer started crying if he needed to leave the house, he steeled his nerves and went to check on Nikolai. Pierce's doorman recognized him, and let him through . Brock remembered the passcode for the penthouse elevator, he was surprised Pierce hadn't had it changed. He passed through the empty foyer and living room into the kitchen, where Nikolai and Alexei were having breakfast. __

__

On the kitchen table, the front page headline of _The Washington Post_ was large, and bold, in black ink it cried NATION MOURNS SECRETARY OF DEFENSE (in smaller print _**“DoD chief Alexander Pierce perishes in plane crash”**_ ). It was accompanied by a photo of the burning wreckage. Smaller headlines read DC SOCIALITE FOILS BOMB PLOT and on the next page, OMEGA FIGHTS OFF FAKE COP HOME INVASION. Authorities would have already connected the first two incidents, but would probably never figure out the third story was related.

Nikolai sat listlessly in a kitchen chair. Alexei sat next to him, they were both still in their pajamas. Alexei had a glass of milk, untouched, and a plate with an unopened foil package on it, Brock recognized it as some form of toaster pastry and spied a Pop Tart box on the counter. Alexei stared nonplussed at his plate, little eyebrows furrowed. Brock opened the foil for him. 

“It's like a cookie,” Brock said. “You can eat it, it's okay. He was supposed to heat it up first.” Brock sniffed the milk, suspicion was confirmed, it was spoiled. He dumped it down the sink, along with the bottle from the fridge. He found a couple of oranges in the crisper, halved them and located a state of the art juicer in the cupboard. Alexei seemed much happier with the fresh juice. 

“Daddy, you eat,” Alexei said, passing the second Pop Tart to his father..

“Good boy, Alexei,” Brock murmured. 

“Brock makes more juice,” Alexei asked-told him. His big, worried eyes were exactly like Nick's, only brown instead of blue. His child, barely three, trying to parent a zoned out adult, trying by instinct to fill a role he wasn't ready for and shouldn't have to take on. 

“No more fruit,” Brock explained. “It's okay, there's coffee. Little boys can't have coffee but daddies can.” He pressed the button on the elaborate Keurig, not interested in whatever flavor was already in there or that it might be three day old coffee. They'd both drunk worse. Nikolai took it without complaint, he drank most of his cup and ate the whole Pop Tart, although he didn't seem to care what he was eating. “Okay, kid, what do you do after breakfast?” 

“Preschool for mornings.”

“Probably better if you stick to the routine,” Brock said. “For today. You need help getting dressed?” 

“I can do it,” Alexei said confidently. He toddled off. 

“You gotta snap out of it,” Brock said to Nikolai. “I can't be here 24/7 to order you around.” When Nikolai was still the Asset, this behavior would have earned him a smack. Brock wasn't sure where he stood now. “You got a kid depending on you.” 

“I'm perfectly capable of caring for my brother,” Cynthia said as she strolled in, still wearing a light winter jacket. “And the other one. Comrade Barbie. Is he just going to sit there all day, staring creepily into space?” 

Um, yeah? Brock wisely didn't say, That's kind of his thing? 

“His husband died two days ago. Cut the kid some slack.”

“What are you even doing here, Rumlow? What, exactly, is your current function?” 

“Fuck you bitch, that's what.”

“Been there, done that, no thanks.”

“Um,” Nikolai said. 

“Hey, Nikolai, hon?” Cynthia said. “Why don't you go sort my dad's clothes? Pick a suit to send to the funeral home. I'm sure you can at least manage that.” 

Grateful for an assignment, Nikolai padded to the master bedroom and opened the door to the walk in closet. It was a 7x10 room with an overhead light, soft blue carpeting and rows of white painted wooden drawers, shelves and hangers. Alexander needed everything in order, a place for everything and everything in its place. No exceptions. His wardrobe was stored along the right side, with his bespoke suits separate from the preppy off hours clothing and pajamas, arranged by color. Nikolai gathered everything from the black, dark gray and dark blue range and dropped them on the bed. He chose pairs of shoes he thought matched, and socks, dress shirts, cuff links, and ties. Underwear. Did dead men need underpants? Nikolai pressed his flesh hand over his mouth to stifle a hysterical giggle. He'd-he'd never _been on this side of things before_. 

He laid the clothes out on their bed (his bed now? He'd never had his own bed), and began the process of narrowing things down. Alexander had loved to look good, loved to go all out with his suits. Nikolai picked up a three piece outfit in black. But wasn't it too somber? Alexander was a lot of things, but he'd never been dour. He should be dressed in this heather gray suit, the Ralph Lauren (because he knew enough about politics now to know everything for the funeral needed to be American made) with a warm colored tie. Nikolai was not going to let his husband be seen for the last time in public dressed badly. He cringed at how his thoughts had automatically turned to fawning, as if Alexander deserved any amount of dignity. But he'd been Nikolai's world for so long and Nikolai was a _bad_ omega, for thinking such ugly thoughts about his mate. Even if Alexander was dead and could never hurt him again. 

He curled up on the pile of his alpha's clothes, surrounded by the familiar, comforting scent and wept.

Brock found the number for Alexei's daycare on a list taped up near the phone in the kitchen. Someone calling herself “Mrs. Wood” answered. 

“I'm calling on behalf of the Pierce family,” Brock said.. “We felt that you needed to know, Alexei hasn't been informed of what happened yet. We wanted him to have a normal day somewhere he feels safe while his family makes arrangements. So please, don't bring it up and discourage other people from talking about it.”

“Sure, fine, no problem,” Mrs. Wood said with sympathy in her voice. “Please pass along our deepest condolences to Alexei's mom and sister.”

“My name's Brock Rumlow, if you need to put me on a list, I'll be the one dropping him off and picking him up.”

“Actually, sir,” Mrs. Wood said “you're already on the list. Just make sure you bring a photo I.D.”

Brock found Alexei in a nautical themed bedroom, clumsily dressed in elastic waist khakis, a teddy bear sweater and slip on Keds (Brock guessed he didn't know how to tie a shoelace yet). The sweater was on backwards. 

“Good job, buddy, let me just fix your shirt though.” He volunteered to drive Alexei to preschool to avoid the tense atmosphere of the grieving household. And control the flow of information. And yeah, maybe he wanted more one on one time with the son he barely knew. 

What all his careful planning hadn't figured in was that they lived in the nation's capital, and a major government figure had just died tragically. Every single one of the city's impressive collection of US flags on public display was at half staff. His daughter Theresa called halfway there. 

“Dad, your boss- Were you there? Are you okay?” 

“No, wasn't there.” He'd been lying to his kids about his job their entire lives, why stop now? “Everything's fine, go back to bed, you need your sleep.” 

“Mr. Brock, why are the flags weird?” Alexei asked just as Theresa asked 

“Why are you with a little kid?” 

“You have a secret brother I didn't want you to know about. Now you ruined the surprise,” Brock said. 

“Dad!”

“Mr. Brock, why?” 

“Dad, come on, are you moving his kid to an undisclosed location like in the movies?”

“Why? Because his father is dead and I need you to hang up unless you want yours T Boned by a city bus cause he wasn't watching the road!” He heard a strangled sob from the seat next to him. Brock Rumlow was a lot of things, many of them he could admit were disgusting, but he had never been able to ignore the instincts of a father who hears his baby crying. He swung into a McDonald's parking lot. 

“What's dead?” Alexei asked through a cascade of tears. “Is dead bad?” And oh, Goddammit, he cried exactly like his mother except it wasn't funny. 

“No, it-it's not always bad. Your papa was old, and tired, after the accident, he got too sick for his body to work anymore. The hospital couldn't help him. So he went to live in a better place.” 

“Disney World?” Alexei sniffled. 

“Well, it's like Disney World but you never have to leave. You feel up to school today? Or do you want to go home and see Daddy?” 

“School,” Alexei said. He rubbed at his eyes and gave a stoic little sniff. 

“There's a brave soldier like your daddy.”

“Can I have snack time first?”Alexei asked. The people in McDonald's were so charmed by the attractive single man cuddling a tearful toddler, they didn't even charge him for the milk and apple slices . 

After dropping Alexei off at the daycare and swinging by the market for a few essentials, Brock stopped off at a pizza place and ordered two large pies. Nikolai's super solider appetite was not going to survive on one Pop Tart. Cynthia opened the door, and glared at him as he swept past to the kitchen. Brock put the food away and went to look for Nikolai. He found him curled up in the master bedroom, sniffling into a pile of expensive looking men's dress shirts. 

“How you feeling, kiddo?”

“Guilty.”

“You didn't do it anything wrong. Pierce brought it on himself. He got taken down by his own evil plans.”

“No! Because, I-I'm _relieved he's gone_. He was my everything but he could be so _cruel_. He can't ever hurt me again.”

“That's right.” Brock perched on the bed, he reached over and tentatively patted Nikolai's shoulder. 

“What if whatever happens next is worse?”

“Oh, Nicky...” Brock pulled him into his arms, kissing his forehead. “I love you, I won't let anything happen to you.”

“What the HELL?” Cynthia gasped. Nikolai pulled away, startled, hiding behind his hair. 

“Cindy! Uh, you don't know-” Brock started to explain. 

“What do I not know?” she snapped. “Because from here, it looks like he's either a gold digger who cheated on my dad, or you're taking advantage of someone whose elevator doesn't go all the way to the top!”

Brock closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. _Three, two, one_. 

“Of course it does, how do you think I got here? We're in the penthouse!” Nikolai snapped. 

“Nick, she means you're not all there.”

“Yeah, but I have a prosthetic.”

“No,” _honey, baby,_ “She's calling you crazy.”

“Why do you hate me?” Nikolai asked. “I didn't do anything to you except love your father.”

“I don't hate you,” Cynthia said. “I feel sorry for you. You were only ever useful for your body and I'm a married Beta so you've mostly just been in my way. Look, I can get you a job, answering phones, stuffing envelopes, but that's it. You need to s tart taking care of yourself.”

“Stop pressuring him,” Brock said. “He doesn't have anywhere else to go and he can't do...stuff. He can't do normal people things. ”

“This is really none of your business,” Cynthia said.”Again, what are you doing here?”

“I'm here to help Nick.”

“You work for my father. I told all the employees to take time off.”

“No,” Brock said. And he was surprised at how proud he was to say it. “I'm an agent of SHIELD. I work for the government, which just happened to include your father for awhile. This man is in my protective custody. I go where he goes and as the homeowner, he's not going anywhere.”

“He doesn't own this apartment.”

“Yeah, we'll see about that when they look at the will,” Brock said. 

“You watch it, Rumlow,”Cynthia warned before storming out. Nikolai was quiet for a moment before he looked plaintively at Brock and asked 

“Who owns _me_ now?” 

“I dunno. Normally when someone gets decommissioned and goes into civilian life, that's it. They can do whatever they want. You're a civilian but Hydra gave you to Pierce. So uh, I guess, whoever gets the rest of his stuff. That's gonna be hard to explain. Apartment, boat, bank account, one pregnant omega with unique assassin skillset, memory problems and bonus three year old child.” 

“If-” Nikolai said. “If I have to go to someone else, I want you to take Alexei. I can't-I don't want him to grow up a slave or a science experiment.” 

“I'm his dad,” Brock said, tucking a strand of brown hair behind Nikolai's ear. Hydra might very well try to take him, he was valuable as the first biological offspring of The Winter Soldier. “No one gets to him except through me. If I was your alpha, no one could touch you.”

“Can't,” Nikolai said. “Too much.” 

“You trust me to raise a kid but not to be your alpha?”

“Right,” Nikolai replied. “If we bond, that's it. You'll always be able to control me even if we break up. I don't know how I'd get away from you if I had to, you were my Commander long before we had kids together. There's no one to speak for me. We both had bad first marriages, so there's um-”

“A precedent?” 

Nikolai nodded. Brock realized he was right. Not only that, but many of the things Pierce had done to him over the decades, Brock had helped with. Willingly. _Cheerfully_. Even their two shared children were a result of Pierce manipulating Nikolai into asking for them, and Brock not caring if the plan was creepy as long as he got his money. And Brock had ruined his own marriage, what if he wasn't any better of a partner to Nikolai? The fact that Nikolai had already considered how he'd escape Brock if he had to, that was devastating. Brock was that much of a monster, the kind of alpha an omega like Nick couldn't trust. 

“I'm kind of a bully aren't I. I hurt people. I understand why you need more evidence. After all, we met at work, where hurting people was our job, not the neighborhood cookout.”

“Yeah, you are and you do. You were always hitting me and calling me names when I was the Asset,” Nikolai said. “I have to stand on my own. So if I choose an alpha, it's because I wanted it with my heart. Not because I need someone in charge of me. I would like to feel like the things I think are important even though...” He gave Brock a watery smile, “I'm not smart or good at anything except hurting people.” 

“It's not your fault. We did it to you so you wouldn't run away. It was wrong. You're not stupid, not really, you just don't have a lot of information.”

“I know,” Nikolai said. “That's why I can't even think about bonding with you right now. I would become your bitch. And I don't know if I want to be yet.” He rubbed absently and anxiously at the bond mark from Pierce. 

“I get it.” Brock eyed the bond mark, and imagined how it had been done. Forced bonding was illegal but that was chump change to a guy like Pierce. People said True Bonds were always mutual and consensual but for plenty of alphas, if you wanted someone bad enough you didn't care if the bond was True, only that you could possess them. The alpha would get the omega alone, usually in bed, get them worked up so when questioned later, they couldn't prove they'd been clear about refusing, and _hold them down and bite_. It happened a lot in those historical “bodice rippers” his ex loved to read, with the heaving bosoms on the cover. “You haven't seen my rut, either. It was all about you and your heat, you haven't seen me in a real rut.” 

“Doesn't mean I don't still want to-to _go to bed_ with you. Right now. Help me forget I'm alone.” Well, Nikolai's impressive bosom was certainly heaving. With those big eyes, pouty lips, glossy dark hair and his sweet peppermint smell filling Brock's nose, oh, Brock wanted too.

“ _God_ , yeah,” Brock breathed. “But later. I can't get it up in a room that reeks of your uber alpha husband, my terrifying ex boss.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I wasn't really writing this for the action sequences, which is why I gloss over them a lot. But there might be a couple of bonus "deleted scene" type chapters in the future. I'd also like to do one about Sam's adventures going undercover at the preschool. IDK, long fics are hard to pace and plot.


	17. Makes you better

Nikolai finished smoothing out the soft pink blanket and embroidered pillows in his baby's new crib. The mobile, which he'd picked out himself and begged Alexander to let him have, had small lucite rainbows, pairs of sparkling red shoes, monkeys, witches, scarecrows, lions and a little fairy in a pink dress. Nikolai hadn't been clear on what any of this imagery had to do with each other, although the salesman had explained that it was from an old movie. When you pressed a button, it played a slow, sleepy, wistful song that Nikolai had instantly loved. 

He hummed the song as he walked to the kitchen and boiled tea for Cynthia. Maybe if he did stuff for her, she would like him better, she would stop implying he was stupid and useless. Cynthia was in the living room, watching The Nightly News with Christine Everhart. Everhart was interviewing Pepper Potts about the bomb threat, attempt on Tony Stark's life and the role Project Insight had played in it. Pepper seemed uncomfortable around Everhart. 

Nikolai carried the tea in to Cynthia, turning his head to watch the report on tv. His much rounder body made it harder to maneuver through the living room, his knee hit the side table and the tea cup slid from his hands. _Oh no oh no nonono_. Nikolai fell to his knees and scrambled to pick up the cup and saucer. A brown stain slowly spread over the white carpet. 

“I'm-I-I there's carpet cleaner. I'll get it! I promise!”

“You don't have to do that,” Cynthia said. She frowned. “It was just an accident, and my dad's not here anymore, you're not in trouble. I'll have someone get it later.”

“I need a function,” Nikolai replied, hauling his pregnant body to sit on the couch. 

“Looks like you're already serving one,” she said, gesturing at his expanded stomach. He flushed again. Ever since he'd learned that Alexander had been lying to him about saving the world, he'd wondered if Alexander had been lying about other things. He loved Alexei, and the one he hoped would be called Rebecca, but the way everyone talked to him when he was pregnant left Nikolai feeling humiliated. Even more now than before, because now he realized how wrong it was, and he didn't deserve to be talked to that way. 

“Look,” Cynthia sighed. “What other things do you like to do? You must have hobbies.”

“Alexander said- the children were my job.”

“He would say that,” Cynthia said. “What did you study in college?”

“I uh,” Nikolai stammered. “I don't think I went to college.” 

“What do you mean, you _don't think_ you went?” Cynthia asked. 

“I forget stuff. I have big gaps in my memories. You don't need college for modeling.”

“Oh my god,” Cynthia said. A weird expression crossed her face. Nikolai didn't understand but he knew better than to ask. “Okay, so, is there anything you like to do? Just for fun?”

“I liked learning about computers when I used to go to the library,” Nikolai admitted cautiously, in case this was a trap to get him to confess to liking something so she could take it away. “I like...machines. I think I'm interested in technology.” 

“Good! That's a start. You should go down to the library, and sign up for one of their basic computer classes. I'll request some community college applications. You can start in the fall with an easy courseload, maybe online if you're still feeling weird about leaving the kids.” Her face softened. “You didn't deserve the way my dad treated you. I don't know the details, I don't want to know them, but it's clear he didn't respect you or want you to have a life outside him. And now you've outlived him and you're stuck. He knew that would happen when he married you and like so many men like him, he didn't care. I'm going to help you get unstuck. It's the least I can do for family.” 

“Thank you,” Nikolai murmured. He hurried out of the house before she changed her mind about giving him permission to go. 

He took one of the two black town cars they kept in the parking garage, and drove himself to the main branch of the city library, because no one had told him he had to take a bodyguard. He was rusty at driving himself in civilian situations, but he managed to get there without damaging the car, hitting anyone or getting pulled over. After he'd signed up for the computer course, he bought two sandwiches,a cannoli and a coffee, and he drove to the National Mall to eat lunch on a park bench. Even though it was still cold out, it was different, it was _nice_ , sitting there alone with no one watching him or needing anything from him or telling him what to think and feel. 

He could _even_ , if he wanted, go into the Air and Space Museum, and find out why they had a giant banner advertising an exhibit about Supermarket Man- um- _Steve Rogers_. Who was apparently famous for being “Captain America”. He finished eating and joined the line for admission. 

He saw the rest of the museum first, because he could. The exhibit was full of huge photos of Captain America in different uniforms, a recording of the late President Ellis narrated the Captain's story, from his World War II roots to his present day unfreezing and his heroism in the Battle of New York. Nikolai snickered at the images of how small Rogers had been before the serum. Nikolai had been given a serum too, but he had never been as tiny as Rogers. He turned happily to the next display, which was all about Roger and his best friend, Sergeant James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes. 

“ _Best friends since childhood, Bucky Barnes and Steven Rogers were inseparable on both schoolyard and battlefield_ ”

Nikolai froze. He was staring up at giant photos and videos of-of- _himself_. Himself, laughing with Captain America like they were friends. Captain America had tried to talk to him in the supermarket, and had worked so hard to save him from Alexander, because he thought Nikolai was this Bucky Barnes person. Because Bucky Barnes looked just like him, except with shorter hair. But Bucky Barnes was loved by everyone, and Nikolai was everything bad. The only people who loved him were his three year old, and Brock, who could never claim to be a better person. 

“ _Sergeant Barnes was the only Howling Commando to give his life in the service of his country_. 

Cold, ice, howling wind, falling, a blue jacket and red blood on snow. He felt something shatter inside his head as his hands began to shake. He stumbled through the crowd, he needed to get out but he was blinded by tears and nearly crashed into the security booth.

“Excuse me, Sir!” A female omega security guard moved towards him, catching him before he fell. “Can I help you? You feelin' all right?” 

“I don't-I don't-” He couldn't speak. 

“You better sit down, gotta watch out for your little one.”

He sat obediently, frantically wringing his hands and whimpering. His panic only increased at the number of people watching him nervously, as if he was dangerous. Which he was. But they knew him from the tv and newspapers as the Secretary of Defense's widowed partner. That's why they were being so nice. 

“Here, honey, I got you a Coke and some crackers from the vending machine. What else can we do?” 

Nikolai began to eat, low blood sugar was not going to help. But the overly concerned look in the guard's eyes made him cringe. 

“I want to see Steve Rogers. I want to talk to Captain America.” He began to cry, he couldn't help it, he was just so tired and confused. The more other people crowded around him and tried to make him feel better, asking 'oh sweetie, why are you crying?', the more he cried and wished he could disappear. It took thirty minutes for Rogers and his black friend with the mechanical wings to arrive.


	18. Chapter 18

Museum security took Nikolai, Steve Rogers, and his friend, to a private lounge where they could talk, away from the curious crowds, who had already taken cellphone videos. Someone left them a carafe of cucumber water and some plastic cups. The Captain's friend sat close to Nikolai and looked at him with concern. 

“Hey, Nikolai. I'm Sam Wilson. I'm a trauma counselor with Veteran's Affairs. It's okay if you don't wanna talk, but we're here if you have any questions about Bucky Barnes.”

“How can I be Bucky Barnes when he's _dead_?” Nikolai snapped. “I'm not very smart but I know dead is dead. Even if he was alive, he'd be _old_. Maybe I'm his grandson, or his late in life son, but I am twenty eight.” 

“The serum we both have, it makes us age slower,” Rogers said. “The cryogenic freezing slowed down your aging even more because you were only brought out for assignments. Until three years ago, after Insight launched.”

“Yes,” Nikolai nodded. “That's when Alexander Pierce married me and let me retire to have children.”

“How'd your family feel about that?” Wilson asked.

“We're estranged. My father and I don't get along.”

“But that was such big news,”Wilson pointed out. “Of course you'd at least want to rub it in their faces that you were marrying one of the most powerful men on the planet. Your dad was a Russian general, right? Wouldn't he be pleased you were marrying Alexander Pierce? Or maybe he'd be furious, either way, he'd definitely have a strong opinion. Except that Vasily Karpov, the man all your official paperwork says is your father, he died in 1983. It's still possible, genetically, for him to be your dad, you were born in 84 according to your records. But you never met the man.”

“But I remember, my dad was a soldier. I remember.” He held memories of two lives in his head now, neither one felt real anymore. 

“ _Bucky's dad_ was,” Rogers said. “For awhile. Before he opened a clothing store. You probably remembered that and your mind just put him in a different uniform. You're married to Pierce, or, you were, but I don't remember seeing anything about the wedding in the newspapers. You'd think such a famous and powerful man would have wanted to throw a big party and show off.”

“We got married at the courthouse,”Nikolai admitted. “The wedding night was at home. We didn't have a real honeymoon until weeks later, when we went to-to-” And he couldn't help it, he began to tremble again.

“Does talking about your wedding night upset you?” Wilson asked gently. Nikolai nodded. “Can you tell me why?”

“I didn't really like it,” Nikolai admitted in a whisper. He shredded the napkin he was holding into pieces. “I'd never done those things before, not that I could remember. I didn't know what to do, he had to tell me because I'm so stupid. I wanted to be close with him, but I didn't like some of the stuff he did. I -I- told him _no_. That's when he taught me my place, like an alpha is supposed to. I was good, I didn't forget again!” He was still too ashamed to talk about the drinks Alexander liked to drug, to make him more compliant. A few days ago, he'd managed to get the door to the wine cellar unlocked, and found industrial quantities of what the internet told him was an incredibly powerful drug. 

“Nikolai, it was good, when you told him no,” Wilson said. “Telling people no when they're hurting you, or trying to make you do something you don't like, that's brave, and right. But it's also okay not to worry about it if you stayed with him anyway. You had your reasons. Yeah, you should obey your alpha but when they hurt you, that's bad, an alpha who hurts you doesn't love you and you don't owe them anything. It's grounds for divorce in this decade. He sexually assaulted you, repeatedly, that's illegal even when you're a married omega.”

He'd...had _choices?_ It wasn't okay to be hurt by his husband? 

“For example,” Rogers interjected. “If you and I were partners, and you told me you didn't like what I wanted to do, I would first ask you how I could do it differently, if you had any suggestions for a way it would be more comfortable, if you maybe wanted to wait until you were more ready or in a better mood. If you didn't want to do it at all, then we wouldn't.”

“I'm Steve's partner,” Wilson said. “He's not lying. I'd kick him in the nuts if he tried to pressure me. Did Brock hurt you the way Alexander did?”

“No...” Nikolai almost smiled. “He wasn't always nice to me, but he always waited for a yes when we mated. I need time, to forgive him for not helping me until we started dating. And I'm waiting to see if I can trust him. But I feel equal to him, I don't feel like property, at least, I don't want to be afraid he'll try to own me, but I am.” 

“Alpha/Omega is an equal partnership, omegas aren't slaves. Hydra treated you like an object,but you're not one.” Wilson leaned forward to catch his gaze. “That was wrong and you didn't deserve it.”

“Tony and Pepper, they told me that,” Nikolai said in an awed voice. “I didn't know to believe them.”

“I get it,”Rogers said. “Everyone's been lying to you for as long as you can remember.”

“I guess,” Nikolai said. “I'm not even the guy I thought I was. It was around my wedding that I 'remembered' I was Nikolai Karpov.” He made 'the air quotes' with his fingers. “But I haven't been Bucky Barnes for seventy years, is it okay if I don't know if I want to be him anymore? You won't put me back in the Chair and take away Nikolai?”

“It's okay,” Rogers assured him, even though his eyes watered a little. “I promise, no more Chairs.”

Nikolai drove himself home and sat for a few minutes in one of their two assigned parking spaces in the garage. He made a list of things to do.

1) Find out how to change name.  
2) Get mobile phone.  
3) Learn about Bucky Barnes  
4) Smash wine cellar.  
5) Pick up nice roast chicken 

Then he sat there, and worked up the nerve to go upstairs. In the living room, someone had already gotten rid of the tea stain on the carpet. Cynthia was watching the news again, with paperwork from her job spread out around her. Nikolai wasn't entirely sure, but he thought she worked for the Justice Department. She came to him, and hugged him. 

“Oh, sweetheart. I didn't know.”

“Your dad,” Nikolai blurted out. “He beat me, and he drugged my food and he lied to me every day and he raped me. I was alone and no one helped me.”

“I'm so sorry,”she said. “ There's nothing I can do to make it up to you. Nobody wants to believe their parents are comic book supervillains but I knew him better than most and I should have figured it out.” 

“He made me think I loved him.”

“He made everyone think they loved him. He hid a monster behind a million dollar smile. God, what if I was like, riding my pony around the Virginia house while he was torturing you on some secret Hydra base? I feel so guilty.”

“It's not your fault,” Nikolai said. “You were just a kid.”

“So were you, when Hydra took you,” she said softly.

“Daddy!” 

“Puppy!” Nikolai plastered a big fake smile on his face as he turned to bend down and hug his son. “I'm always so happy to see you.” Brock followed Alexei in, picking up the mittens Alexei had dropped. 

“Daddy, we painted I made our family!” 

Nikolai pretended to be very interested in the smears of yellow, brown and blue paint on drawing paper. 

“This is so good, I'm going to put it on the fridge. I need you to please go and wash your hands for dinner.”

Brock came up behind Nikolai as he was helping the housekeeper load dishes on a cart to wheel into the dining room. He wrapped his arms around Nikolai's stomach, massaging the expanse and kissing his ear. The housekeeper slipped past them, leaving them alone in the kitchen. 

“You look like you're ready to pop.” He handed Nikolai a bouquet of white lilies, pink tulips and orange gladiolas. “Happy Valentine's Day, by the way.” 

“I feel like I _will_ pop,” Nikolai said. “You don't have to buy me flowers. Or anything. I don't care that you're poor. I never cared. HE gave me flowers all the time, it meant he wanted to me to suck him.” 

“I want to be there for all of it. Wanna do it right this time,” Brock murmured against his neck. “The pregnancy. I think we've got the sucking down okay.”

“Brock?” Nikolai asked carefully. “Did you know? How long have you known? Was I just a big joke to everyone all along?”

“Rogers told me on New Years. This year, I mean. But I didn't believe him. I thought he was desperate to convince himself his friend wasn't really dead.”

“I _am_ Bucky Barnes,” Nikolai said. “Everyone's going to know soon. I'm too angry at everything to be angry specifically at you. But next time you hear a secret that big, you better tell me even if you think it isn't true. Or we're over. Got that?”

“Got it,” Brock said. 

"After dinner, I'm going to be alone in the tub for a long time. As long as I feel like. I wish you would still be here when I come out".


	19. Chapter 19

Alexander and Dr. Kaplan had scheduled the appointment for him months in advance. When that day dawned, Nikolai woke up, prepared himself according to the doctor's instructions, and left the house. He immediately turned around and went back, feeling guilty, and left a note. He drove himself to the hospital and wobbled through the automatic doors to the front desk. He was proud of himself for remembering to bring his government insurance card (Alexander had many pensions and government benefits Nikolai could draw on for himself and Alexei, at least for the present). A nurse put him in a wheelchair and pushed him through another set of doors, down long hallways, to meet with the doctor who would work on him. 

Everyone was friendly, and gentle, and tried to give off the impression that he was just another normal patient, but it was clear he was being given the VIP treatment. This hospital was expensive, and private, but he was still escorted to a special waiting room apart from the general public, where they played relaxing music and served lemon water. The couches and chairs were supple leather, the plants were real and there was a lovely view of a park. The only other occupant was the wife of a former vice president, she was friendly when she noticed him stroking his stomach nervously and she engaged him in conversation until a nurse came in to get her. Nikolai managed to talk to her without coming off as stupid for once. She gave him a card with her phone number on it. It was so much easier to make friends now that Alexander wasn't trying to prevent it. People were nicer than he'd realized and they seemed to like him.

His surgeon was a stout, middle aged black woman who introduced herself as Dr. Folger. 

“Is this your first time having the procedure, Mr. Pierce?” she asked.

“This is my second time,” Nikolai replied. 

“Well, I'll just quickly remind you of how it's going to go, and then we'll get you settled in, okay?”

He nodded anxiously.

Nikolai wasn't home, Brock realized as he let himself in the apartment. Where would he possibly have gone if Alexei was in the living room, watching cartoons? Maybe out with Rogers and Wilson, exploring his past some more. But Nikolai had admitted to not feeling well the last couple of days, Brock had expected to find him home in bed. All he found was Cynthia, standing in the library, glaring at a wall safe. 

“You know how to break into a safe?” she asked.

“No, we always brought a guy in for that,” Brock replied.

“Don't tell me the rest,” Cynthia said. “I do not want or need to know.”

“You seen Nikolai?” Brock asked.

“Nope. I guess he went out.”

“You got any idea where?”

“I try not to make him feel like he has to ask permission,” Cynthia said. She hefted a stack of official looking folders to the desk and skimmed through one, sighed unhappily and threw it on the floor. 

“Yeah,” Brock said. “That's nice but there are people who want him dead, and he's about ready to give birth and he has amnesia. Plus, he's a highly anxious, extremely suggestible, two hundred fifty pound killing machine with a weaponized arm. I don't need to know exactly where he is at all times but sometimes I needa have a vague idea.” He tried Nikolai's brand new Starkphone, but it went straight to voicemail. A retrace of his steps discovered a note propped up on the hall table. 

_Dear Family I am going to the hospital to have my baby. Nikolai._

“ _Which_ hospital?” Brock groaned. “Kid, come the fuck on!”

“I'll check my dad's appointment book,” Cynthia said. “He must have noted it somewhere.”

By the time Cynthia, Brock, and Alexei, after making a side trip to pick up Theresa and Lily, tracked down the hospital Nikolai had booked himself into, they were joined by a cavalcade of excited Avengers. Alright, not a cavalcade, it was Rogers, Wilson, and the Potts-Starks who met them in the private family lounge of the private maternity ward.It was the quietest, most genteel maternity ward Brock had ever seen, with muted lighting, walls painted in calming colors, and plush rugs on the floor of the family lounge. The oil paintings on the walls were probably still reproductions but they were obviously high quality ones. It even smelled nicer than a normal person hospital.

A young female nurse in pink scrubs greeted them in the maternity ward.

“You must be Mr. Pierce's family. Mama's been out of surgery for a few hours and he's resting comfortably. His pre scheduled Caesarean went fine. They've both been sleeping, but he did wake up and ask for a 'Brock'. Which one of you is Brock?” 

“I am,” Brock spoke up. “Can I see him now?”

“Sure, right this way, sir.”

The room smelled like pregnant omega, the second best smell in the world. The best smell was an omega about to _become_ pregnant. Nikolai smiled up at him from a bed covered in blue sheets. A tv nearby played an episode of General Hospital on low volume. And a tiny, squirming thing wrapped in a yellow blanket was snuggled against Nikolai's chest. It snuffled, and Nikolai brushed his finger over its nose and laughed. 

“You found me,” Nikolai said. 

“No thanks to your note,” Brock replied. “I was worried! Why'd you sneak off to get cut open?”

“Alexander wanted me to have the surgery,” Nikolai mumbled. He blushed. “He wanted me to stay... We already scheduled it and I thought, you would prefer it too.”

“Don't say it, I can guess,” Brock said. "For the record, Alexander's creepy opinions about sex are not always also mine. At least I try not to do that anymore. " He filled a plastic cup with water and held it to Nikolai's lips. Nikolai looked woozy, not unlike the times Brock had seen him coming back from the Chair, only happy, and proud, this time. Brock perched on the edge of the bed.

“Why didn't you tell me the baby was ready to come out?” Brock asked. Brock tentatively reached out and let the baby hook one of its tiny, soft fingers around his pinky finger. 

“I don't know?” Nikolai admitted. “It's surgery, you can't help me like you could if I was pushing it out.”

“But that doesn't mean I didn't want to be here for you, I _told you that_ ,” Brock said. 

“I guess I'm not used to that,” Nikolai said. “I've had a lot of surgeries, no one ever sat outside and worried about me just out of love.”

“I know I promised to try not to boss you around,” Brock said, “But don't ever do that again, okay?”

“Okay.” Nikolai smiled. Brock opened the door to Nikolai's room and let everyone else in. They all crowded around the bed, cooing over the tiny pink creature in Nikolai's arms. Wilson took one look at the baby and turned to Rogers. 

"Want one," he said. "I want one now, Steve." 

"Ehhh," Stark said. He shrugged. "I'd still rather be the Cool Uncle."

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Brock announced. “May I present to you- um-”

“Rebecca James,” Nikolai supplied. “Five pounds, half a day old and healthy.”

“Girls, you remember this man. His name is Nikolai Pierce. Well, he was so important to me because he's actually my boyfriend. We're not getting married yet, but we are very serious about each other. ” Brock sighed nervously. “ This boy is your brother Alexei. And this is your new little sister.” He waited, cringing inwardly as he expected what were sure to be negative reactions. 

“I figured, when I saw them,” Theresa said. She shrugged. “You shouldn't have hidden him from us, Dad. At this point, we deserve to know everything.” _Since we almost died because of your double life_ was the unspoken part of that sentence.

“He's going to make that up to you,” Nikolai assured them. “I'm very glad to meet you girls officially. I wanted you to feel welcome, so I got you some stuff. It's in that pink bag on the chair.”

Theresa retrieved it. There was a small box in Tiffany blue for her, a larger box for Lily, and a medium sized box for Alexei. Theresa untied the ribbon and opened her box, lifting out an elegant silver chain bracelet with a rectangle shaped ID plate. 

“You are still an alpha,” she read the inscribed words out loud, blinking back tears. “Thank- thank you, Nikolai.”

Lily squealed when she opened her gift, featuring the latest American Girl doll. 

“Now we can take care of our babies together,” Nikolai explained. Alexei's present was a teddy bear in a dark blue double breasted military coat and tan trousers.

“Bear?” Alexei asked. “Bear is _my_ baby?”

“Yup. He has a story he wants to tell you about Daddy, but it's for later,” Nikolai said. “Why don't you kids come here and watch me feed Rebecca?”

“How you holding up?” Rogers asked Brock in a low voice. 

Watching Nikolai nurture the children, looking wrung out but blissful, softly explaining what he was doing as they cuddled up to him, was like a religious experience for Brock.

“I'm good,” he replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Lily's party dress for the New Year's ball](http://www.americangirl.com/shop/little-girls-sizes-3-7/twirly-tiered-dress-for-little-girls-f9270)
> 
>  
> 
> My fancast for Cynthia is [Courtney Thorne Smith](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005489/mediaindex?ref_=nm_phs_md_sm%20%20%20%20%20) (but back to the slightly reddish tint her hair used to have, I think she makes a good daughter of Robert Redford). She isn't Sin from the comics *at all* but I did start out with the idea that she was analogous to the Red Skull's daughter as Pierce was the replacement for the Red Skull in the second movie, an idea that's been occasionally floated around. But I lost interest in having Cindy turn out to be a villain. Bucky has been through enough and deserves a supportive family. 
> 
> A scene which didn't make it into this fic but may in a future sequel involves Bucky/Nikolai experimenting with saying "no" to Brock, testing his new independence and finding out that there aren't any negative consequences. 
> 
> The song I got the chapter titles from, [ Better](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-HeaceAbOtw%20%20%20%20%20%20) by Plumb


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